


My Addiction

by Rivermoon1970



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: AA/NA, Addiction, Adoption, Committed Relationship, Companionable Snark, Confusion, Drinking to Cope, Eventual Consent, Family, Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, Love, M/M, Male Slash, Marriage, Mildly Dubious Consent, Past Drug Use, Physical hurt, Possible Abuse, Slash, Strong Bonds, Temptation, Tension, Unrequited Love, giving up control, tied up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 01:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 100
Words: 29,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3231365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron Hotchner knows he has a problem, an addiction and that addiction is named Spencer Reid.  Is there more to their relationship? Or is it just physical?  And if he doesn't figure it out, he thinks it might just destroy him.</p><p>I found out the official name for this kind of length of story, a trabble.  Kind of like it, thought about calling them ficlits, but i see those as slightly longer so I'll stick with trabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> _Your silence gives consent_ \- Plato
> 
> So, this started out as a single short story, but now I am going to be challenging myself to write the whole story in these short burst of musings, insights, whatever you want to call them. All chapters are going to be between 200 - 300 words, no longer. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks

Aaron Hotchner was standing at the window to his office looking down at the street laid out before him, paperwork temporarily forgotten. He was thinking about the turn of events in the last few weeks in his personal life. His hands wandered over his chest and arms, stopping where he knew the bruises and bite marks lay. He reflects back on the evening before and asked himself, why? I let it happen again, why?. It had been so long since someone had touched him that it felt so good to be wanted. He wasn’t sure when things got…darker and he wasn’t sure when it became his addiction.

There was a knock at his office door and without turning around he said, “Come in”.

Spencer walked in and saw his boss standing there at the window, “Aaron…”

Aaron turned around and looked at the young genius, “Yes Reid?”

Spencer cleared his throat, “If you want my resignation…”

Aaron looked at Spencer for a long time, “No”. Was all he said, he then turned around and went back to looking out the window. He didn’t hear when Spencer left and he knew he’d be back in Spencer’s bed, he just didn’t know how much of him would be left.


	2. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron tries to stay away, but he's back again and he asks himself why?

He had tried to stay away but he couldn’t. The case they had just finished was too much. Children, why children? It’s a question he always asks, but the answer never comes. He knocked on the door and without a word Spencer lets him in. They don’t say a word and again Aaron falls into bed with the young agent. This secret that they share is both terrifying and intoxicating. They knew they could lose their jobs, both of them, even though it was Spencer who initiated it. Aaron is complicit and for now he’s unwilling or maybe unable to stop this affair.

He let it happen again, let Spencer take all the control, let his lover do whatever he wanted and there was a type of freeing in that and maybe, just maybe that’s what this was about. Aaron giving up control to someone else, letting them make the decisions, even if this was just sex, or was it? Does he have feelings for Spencer? Does Spencer have feeling for him? He doesn’t know because they never talk, it’s always like this, silence except for the involuntary noises that are pulled out of him. He’s blindfolded this time and the fear thrills him. Maybe this was why he comes back.


	3. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer's friendship changed one fateful movie night.

Aaron and Spencer had been having movie nights shortly after Maeve’s death. The two found a deep camaraderie in losing someone they loved. Aaron was trying to help the young man come to terms with his loss. Now months later he noticed Spencer trying to move on, which could sometimes be as paralyzing, he should know, it’s what happened to him after Haley’s death.

Jack was at a friend’s house for a sleepover and they were alone. Their routine was each week one of them would pick out a movie and they had to watch, no matter what it was. This night Spencer, who started an unspoken contest of pushing each other’s boundaries, had chosen _My Beautiful Laundrette_ , an obscure 1980’s British drama.

At the end of it Spencer asked, “What did you think?”

“It was interesting and very thought provoking. I liked the conflict in Omar and Johnny’s relationship”.

Spencer smiled, but there was something behind it, something…wicked. Aaron was taken completely by surprise when Spencer crawled in his lap and kissed him. At first he didn’t respond, was too startled, then he felt Spencer’s hands on his flesh and it felt…so, so good.

“I want you Aaron, I always have…I’ll make it good, make us both feel good,” And just like that Spencer pushed him down on the couch and took what he wanted. The problem was Aaron didn’t fight him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _My Beautiful Laundrette_ is a real movie. It is an amazing look at the socio-political landscape of London during the Thatcher years. It's about a Pakistani man named Omar who inherits a laundry mat from his uncle and he has his eventual boyfriend Johnny help him renovate it. They deal with racism, homophobia, family dysfunction, race issues. It's a wonderful film.


	4. Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer plays games with Aaron on the plane

The first time it happened Aaron thought he was going to throttle Spencer. They were sitting next to each other at the back of the plane going over victimology.

“So, what do these victims all have in common?” As Aaron was asking the team Reid’s hand had wandered and rested on Aaron’s inner thigh. Then his nails dug in.   
Aaron swallowed hard and gave Reid a sterner than normal look. However good it felt they were in the middle of a case. Aaron wasn’t sure what game Reid was playing, but this was going too far.

The look that passed between them didn’t go unnoticed by Morgan or Rossi. They looked at each other and gave an almost imperceptible shrug. They knew something was going on with their Unit Chief, but not even Dave was brave enough right now to broach the subject. JJ and Alex were too pre-occupied with the case files to notice the exchange.

The second time it happened they were flying back after finishing up with the case. Hotch was in the kitchenette getting some coffee when Spencer came up behind him and dug his fingers in Aaron’s hip. Aaron rounded on him and saw the dark wicked expression on Spencer’s face.

In a quiet voice, so as not to wake the rest of the occupants of the plane, Aaron said, “Reid, you need to stop that”. 

“Aaron do you really want me to?” Spencer asked as he backed the older man up in the small space. The curtain was closed so no one could see what was going on. Spencer leaned down and kissed Aaron, biting his lower lip in the process. He pulled away after a moment, smiled and walked back to his seat. Aaron stood there mind reeling not really knowing the answer.


	5. Rossi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave confronts Aaron

Dave didn’t even knock. He barged into Aaron’s office, closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his friend’s desk.

“Aaron, what’s going on with you?”

Aaron narrowed his eyes and glared at his best friend, “What do you mean Dave?”

“You and Spencer. Something you want or need to tell me?”

“Nothing is going on Dave…”

“Aaron, I’ve known you too long and I know when you’re lying”.

“Dave, I don’t really want to talk about this with you”.

“So something is going on”.

Aaron was silent. He didn’t want Dave to know about his relationship with Spencer. He wouldn’t understand. Hell he still didn’t understand. All he knew was this need. This soul-searing, bone deep need. He knew it was changing him, but he also didn’t want it to end. Not yet at least. His addiction to Spencer was getting stronger.

“Aaron, you’re my friend, if you need help…”

Aaron put up his hand to stop Dave, “I’m fine Dave, I don’t need any help”.

“Keep telling yourself that Aaron, but when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here”. Dave left, worried about what his best friend had gotten himself into.

Later that night lying in Spencer’s arms he let hidden silent tears fall.


	6. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finally talks to Spencer

Aaron knew he had to talk to Spencer. Their affair had been going on for over six months now and he was falling deeper and deeper into the strange twisted relationship. Jack was at a friend’s birthday campout for the weekend so he knew it had to be now, if not he knew he’d lose his nerve and things would continue as they were. 

They had dinner together, but Spencer noticed Aaron was unusually quiet.

“Aaron,” He asked looking at his boss and lover.

Aaron sighed, raised his head and looked at Spencer, “Yes, Spencer?”

Reid frowned, “You okay?”

Aaron pushed his plate away, sat back in the chair and contemplated what he was going to say. “No, actually, I’m not”.

“Have I done something wrong?” Aaron was confused, Spencer actually sounded genuinely concerned.

“Spencer, you’ve done everything wrong and I’ve let you. I let you be in control and now I feel like everything is out of control. You tease, you push boundaries and I…”

“You what Aaron?” Spencer frowned had he missed something? He thought Aaron liked their relationship as it was.

Aaron’s heart was beating too fast, “I think…I think we need to end this Spencer. If not, it’s…it’s going to…” Aaron got quiet. He didn’t know how to say what he needed to say.

Spencer moved to sit next to Aaron, “Going to what?” Spencer was scared. His feelings had become complicated and tangled up when it came to Aaron. What started out simple no longer was.

“I think it will destroy me Spencer”.

“What? Why, why would it destroy you?” Now Spencer was truly afraid.

“Because…”

“Because, what?” Spencer was getting agitated and upset.

“I think I love you, and I think you’ve ruined me for anyone else”. There he finally said it.


	7. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron confronts Spencer about his actions after his confession.

Aaron still couldn’t believe Spencer had just left. He didn’t say anything after Aaron’s confession. He had gotten up grabbed his satchel and left.

They played professional, but the others took notice of their strained relationship. “We need to talk,” Aaron had called Spencer to his office.

“I know, but not here”. Aaron could see Spencer’s frustration. “Um, do you want to come to my place?”

“I’ll be there around 8:00” Spencer heard the dismissal in Aaron’s voice.

Aaron arrived a little after 8:00 and when he walked in Spencer slammed him against the wall and started to kiss him. Aaron put his hands on Spencer’s chest and said, “No”.

Spencer pulled back, “Aaron, that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

“No Spencer, we need to talk”.

Spencer stalked off to his living room, “Fine, what do you want to talk about?”

Aaron was angry and he let it show, “I told you how I felt and you left, Spencer, you just left”. He was breathing hard waiting for the genius to answer.

“Aaron, I…I can’t…I can’t tell you what you want”. Spencer looked like he wanted to cry. This was too much, too much like Maeve, but he couldn’t tell Aaron that.

“Goodbye Spencer”. Aaron turned around and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually blown away by the reception to this little story. I didn't know if anyone would read such an experimental story and I thank all of you that have left comments and kudos. This makes my day and keeps me writing this piece. Again thank you all so, so much.


	8. Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron take a leave of absence

The team was gathered in the conference room and they noticed Hotch was missing.

“Before we get started I have an announcement,” Rossi took a deep breath before he spoke again, “Aaron has taken a short leave of absence,” He said gravely, sliding a dark look over at Spencer.

“What? Why? Rossi, what’s going on?” Morgan asked.

“I don’t know Derek, but Strauss made me Acting Unit Chief till he gets back”.

“How long is he going to be gone?” JJ sounded deeply concerned.

“He has a lot of accumulated vacation time so I’m not sure JJ. Now, let’s get back to this case”. Rossi effectively cut off any more questions.

After the team broke-up Rossi stopped Reid from leaving the conference room, “What’s going on kid?”

Spencer frowned deeply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

Dave was trying to keep his temper in check, “Something has been going on between you and Aaron and now he’s taken a sudden leave. You wanna tell me why?”

“I don’t know, nothing is going on between me and Hotch. Now, don’t we have a case to get to?” Spencer stared back at Rossi.

“Fine, but if he’s hurt because of you, kid there won’t be any place for you to hide”. Rossi was angry because his friend was obviously hurting and Spencer was obviously the   
cause, but neither man was talking.

They stared each other down for what seemed like a long time and Reid understood the unspoken threat. He gathered his things, still gave no explanation, and headed out towards the plane.


	9. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer goes to see Aaron during his leave.

Spencer couldn’t take it anymore. It had been a month since Aaron’s leave and he missed the older man. He was agitated and upset and knew that it was mostly his fault that Aaron wasn’t there. 

Aaron was playing a game with Jack when he heard the knock on the door. An angry look crossed his face when he saw who was standing there, “Spencer. What are you doing here?”

Jack heard Spencer’s name and ran to the door, “Uncle Spencer!” He yelled exuberantly and threw his arms around the young agent’s waist.

Spencer moved past the door and lowered himself to the ground and gave the 9 year old a tight hug. Aaron wasn’t the only one he missed.

“Jack, Spencer and I have to talk can you go to your room for a little bit buddy?”

Jack smiled, “Okay Dad,” Aaron watched as the boy made his way to his room and smiled. As soon as Jack was out of earshot he turned back to Spencer, “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve missed you Aaron”.

Aaron closed his eyes for a minute, “Spencer, please…”

“Where have you been?”

Aaron stared at Spencer and decided to tell him the truth, “In therapy”.

“What? Why?”

“You have to ask why? To deal with us, this,” Aaron waived a hand between them. “You left me Spencer. I told you how I felt and you left. I gave you a chance and you still didn’t say anything. I need to get past you,” Spencer could see just what this was costing Aaron to admit these feelings.

“Aaron…” Why couldn’t he say it? Why couldn’t he have the same courage?

“Spencer, I suggest you do the same”.

“The same what?”

“Therapy. Now, I have to get back to my son. Goodbye Spencer”.


	10. Dilauded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer contemplates doing the worst thing in the world, a relapse.

Spencer was curled up on his couch staring at a bottle of dilauded. It was one he had bought after Maeve’s death. He never broke his sobriety then, but now he was more tempted than he’d ever been in his life. What started out simple, what started out as just sex, or was it? Did he actually have feelings for Aaron? Was that why this hurt so much? Had he lost love…wait love? Did he love Aaron? Love…Aaron? Was it possible, had he fallen in love again? Had he just lost his chance? He stared at it, his personal demon. Had he replaced his addiction? Was Aaron his new addiction? Why were these questions running circular in his brain?

He stared at the demon. Aaron loved him. Aaron loved him. Why couldn’t he get those words out of his head? He hadn’t eaten much, barely slept and he knew his teammates were getting worried. Except for Rossi who was angry at him and Spencer didn’t blame the man. He had hurt Aaron. Aaron. Aaron loved him. Aaron loved him. Why didn’t he say it back?

He stared at the demon, his heart was beating too fast, his hands were shaking and he knew what the release would feel like. But he knew also what the crash would be like. He hadn’t been taking care of himself and his headaches were back. The pain was blinding, but he needed it. The physical pain blocked out the terrible pain in his heart.

He stared at the demon, wishing it would go away, wishing he could take it with no consequences, wishing Georgia never happened. He felt like he was going crazy. He laid his head on his knees and cried. 

He stared at the demon. Aaron loved him. Aaron…loved…him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all are gonna hate me for this one, aren't you?


	11. Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team speculates on what is going on

The team knew something was wrong. Something was broken, Aaron was still gone and Spencer, though he didn’t falter in his job, was a walking ghost. Everyone could see the dark circles under his eyes and the thinness of his body. 

“Morgan, you don’t think…” None of them wanted to say it. Morgan, JJ and Alex were in Garcia’s office. 

“No, I don’t think it’s that Jayje, but there is something he is not talking about”.

“Morgan, this is how he was after Maeve. You don’t think this has something to do with Aaron do you?”

Alex spoke-up, “The timing is too coincidental. I know I have only been here a few months but I’ve noticed how close they are. Was it always like that?”

“Yes, Aaron stepped in after Gideon left and kind of took over as mentor, but there was always this closeness”.

“Do you think the baskets will help? They helped before…” Garcia looked at her friends, hopeful.

JJ knew how much Garcia wore her heart on her sleeve, “No Penny, I don’t think that will help this time”. All of them were at a loss. They knew that for Aaron to be gone this   
long that he was hurting too, they just didn’t know from what.

“You don’t think they were….” Alex didn’t want to presume, but from what she’d seen it was possible.

“What Alex?” Jj asked.

“You don’t think they…may have been together, do you?”

“Like a relationship?” Garcia’s eyes widened because that’s exactly what she was thinking.

“It’s possible, there was always something more there, but they were always professional. Maybe both of them losing someone they loved, they turned to each other”. JJ speculated and somehow they all felt the truth in that.


	12. JJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can JJ help Reid see the truth?

JJ didn’t know if she should try to talk to Spencer. They’d been distant since she came back. All of the lies and half-truths had damaged the special bond that they had, but she saw her friend was hurting. She saw that he wasn’t eating and that he was living on coffee. She saw the pain in his eyes and knew the headaches were back. So, after the teams talk she decided to confront him. She knocked on his door and hoped he would answer.

He opened the door and saw his once best friend standing there, “JJ, what are you doing here?’

“Spence, I’m worried about you. You’re drinking too much coffee and you’re obviously not sleeping or eating, what’s going on with you?”

“JJ, I’m fine, okay, I’ve just…” JJ didn’t believe him and she barged into his apartment. It was a mess, almost like it had been after Maeve. She saw the bottle on the coffee table and became angry.

“ _Do not tell me you’ve been using again Spencer Reid_ ”. The fire in her eyes actually had him stepping back.

“NO, god no JJ…”

“Then why do you have this?” She yelled

“ _I don’t know_ , I don’t know Jayje,” He sank to the floor and cried.

“Spence?” She gathered him in her arms and held on, “Tell me Spence”.

“JJ,” He choked on a sob, “I…I think, I think I love someone, but I didn’t tell him, and now I’ve lost him and it’s killing me”.

So the team’s suspicions were true about him and Aaron. “Spence look at me,” He looked up into her eyes, “Do you know if he loves you?” Spencer nodded his head yes,   
“Then you need to tell him. You need to pull yourself together and tell Aaron how you feel”.


	13. Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer finally breaks down and confronts Aaron

It was the second month into Hotch’s leave, and Dave didn’t know when his friend was coming back. He was trying to give Hotch distance, but if this didn’t end soon he was going over there and demand some answers.

Spencer knew it was time, time to try to put into words his feelings. He was scared to go up to the apartment. Scared he’d be rejected again. He gathered his courage and made his way to Aaron’s apartment and knocked on the door.

Aaron knew it was Spencer and when he opened the door he sighed in resignation and waived the young man in, “Spencer, why are you here?”

Spencer rushed in and the words came pouring out, “I got scared Aaron, I got scared and I ran. I ran because I saw Maeve all over again, only this time it was you that Diane was holding a gun too. Our jobs put us in danger all the time and I…I don’t think I could handle it if I lost you too,” He took a deep breath, eyes wet with unshed tears, “And now, I’ve done it again, I didn’t say it to you just like I didn’t say it to her. I think I believed that if I didn’t say it then this wouldn’t be real and I could move on too, but Aaron I can’t, I can’t move on and it’s…I think it’s killing me”.

Aaron looked at Spencer and saw the dark circles under his eyes, the thinness of his body. He walked over and laid a hand on Spencer’s cheek, “I’m not going anywhere and you still have a chance to say it, but only if you really mean it Spencer”.

Spencer’s breath was shallow and his heart was racing, “I love you too Aaron”.


	14. Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron takes control.

Aaron took control this time and it felt right, for the first time in this relationship something felt right. He backed the younger man against the wall, lips possessing, taking and leaving a trail of want and need singing all throughout Spencer’s body.

By the time they got to the bedroom all clothes had been shed and Aaron continued his assault on his lover. His goal was to make Spencer feel as undone as he had felt. To feel possessed, to feel what it was like to be taken, to have the control out of his hands. And from the appreciative noises that the young agent was making, Aaron was succeeding in his goal. By the time he entered his lover his passion consumed him and in turn, consumed Spencer. 

Aaron watched as the young genius was torn apart by ecstasy, watched as Spencer’s eyes darkened and lost focus, watched the ultimate undoing of the man beneath him. Aaron’s power and control were taken back in that moment. And when his demon was finally satisfied he fell on top of Spencer, holding him there, “That was what you made me feel Spencer,” he whispered as his lips softly made contact with Spencer’s. 

“Aaron, you never told me. Why?” He asked after he got his breath back, after the raging storm caused by Aaron had settled.

“Because, at the time, I didn’t want to stop, but it was hurting me Spencer and I didn’t realize it, not till recently”. 

“Aaron?”

“Yes?”

“Do you really want this? Us?” Spencer asked with hope in his eyes.

“Yes, I want this. I love you Spencer”.

Spencer closed his eyes to school the flood of emotions, “I love you too”. They wrapped around each other and fell deep asleep, both happy for the first time.


	15. Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron asks Jack a very important question

“Jack, can you come out here please?” Jack ran out to the living room and saw his Dad and Uncle Spencer sitting together on the couch. It looked serious and it scared the young boy.

“Daddy?” He asked with apprehension in his voice.

“Hey buddy, its okay, come here, Spencer and I want to ask you something”.

“What is it?”

“Well, how would you like it if Spencer came to live with us?”

Jack furrowed his brow thinking that they only had two bedrooms and he wasn’t sure where his Uncle Spencer would sleep. “But Daddy, where is he going to sleep?” He asked with the seriousness that was so uniquely Aaron that Spencer had to smile inwardly. And, not for the first time he thought that Jack may resemble Haley, but in truth the boy was all Aaron.

“Well, that’s what we wanted to talk about. Spencer would be sleeping in Daddy’s room. Are you okay with that?”

Jack thought about it for a minute, “Daddy?” he asked with that same serious tone.

“Yeah buddy?”

“Is Uncle Spencer your boyfriend?” Aaron smiled at how matter-of-fact his son was.

“I don’t know, Uncle Spencer, am I your boyfriend?” Aaron asked teasingly.

Spencer was a little flustered because he wasn’t used to Jack’s frankness. “Well, only if your Dad wants me to be. Do you…want me to be?”

Aaron smiled the warm genuine dimple showing smile that always set Spencer’s heart racing. “Yes Spencer I want you to be”.

“Yay,” Jack yelled enthusiastically and jumped into Spencer’s arms.

“So, you’re okay with this Jack-Jack?”

“Yes Daddy. You smile more when Spencer is here”.

Aaron looked at his son and wondered when he got so perceptive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have loads more chapters, do you guys want me to continue their story? Just want to make sure you guys want me to continue.


	16. Beth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has to deal with the woman he was supposedly seeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went slightly AU from the show on how this happened. Hope you like my interpretation.

A couple of weeks later Spencer moved in. Aaron used the remaining time of his leave to help him. It came as a shock when there was a knock at the door because they weren’t expecting anyone.

When Aaron opened the door there stood Beth, the woman he was supposed to be seeing. “Beth, what are you doing here?” He hadn’t heard from her in the few months she’d been in California overseeing the transfer of some art from her museum to the Norton Simon in Pasadena.

She smiled, “I thought I’d come by to let you know I’ll be back in New York”.

Just then Spencer came around the corner, “Beth…” His eyes widened and he swallowed hard, “I’ll just be in Jack’s room”. He did not want to be there for this conversation.

“Aaron, what’s going on?”

“I was trying to call you, but you haven’t returned my phone calls. Beth…” He closed his eyes, he knew he was going to hurt her, and he hadn’t wanted to. He had come to realize that she had been a rebound relationship. He cared deeply for her, but he didn’t love her, not like he loved Spencer.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you anyway, I ah, just wanted to tell you I’m accepting a Directorship of a museum in Hong Kong. It’s ah, it’s a great opportunity…” She had gotten the offer of the post but originally turned it down because she thought her and Aaron were going somewhere, but now….

“Beth…” 

“No, don’t say anything else Aaron, I hope you’re happy”. She turned and ran out of there, tears streaming down her face.


	17. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finally returns to work and Rossi confronts him about why he was gone.

Aaron was back and the rest of the team breathed a sigh of relief. The first case they handled after Hotch’s return they noticed how much more in control their Unit Chief was. They all knew how private Aaron was so no one asked about why he was gone, all except Dave. 

Aaron was paired-up with Dave as they went to the ME’s office, “So, you want to tell me what’s been going on or am I going to have to stalk you to find out?” Dave half-joked.

“Do you really want to talk about this now?” 

“You don’t seem to want to talk about it at all Aaron and I’m just concerned. You’re my best friend and I care”.

Aaron took a deep breath and looked to the side at Dave and told him the truth, “I’m in a relationship with Spencer…”

“I thought something was going on between the two of you”.

“It became…complicated”.

“How complicated?”

Aaron quirked up a brow, “Dave, there are just some things you are better off not knowing”.

“Okay, but what about Beth?”

“She had been in California for all those months, only sporadic phone calls. When she came back she…”

“She what?” 

“She walked in on Spencer moving in”. He let the other bomb drop.

“And were you ever going to tell me that little bombshell?”

“Maybe, eventually”.

Dave just shook his head and didn’t press it, “So what happened?”

“She told me she decided to take a position at a museum in Hong Kong. She wished me luck and she left”.

“Just tell me one thing, and I’ll butt out…Are you happy Aaron?”

He looked at Dave and said with a genuine smile on his face, “Yes, Dave I am”.

“Then that’s all I need to know”.


	18. Sean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean is let out of jail early and comes to Aaron for a visit and is surprised by what he finds.

Aaron, Reid and Jack were spending a rare quiet Sunday together watching movies, playing games and reading. The knock on the door came as a surprise and Aaron got up to answer it. When he saw who was standing there he was shocked.

“Sean, what are you doing here?” He hadn’t heard that his brother had been released from prison.

“Well, big bro I got out a couple days ago. Good behavior and all that. I wanted to come by and surprise you”.

“Um, well come in,” The brothers tentatively embraced.

“Uncle Sean,” Yelled Jack as he ran to his uncle and jumped in his arms.

“Hey little man, how are you?”

“I’m good Uncle Sean. Did you know that Uncle Spencer moved in with us and that he’s daddy’s…”

“Okay buddy I think that’s enough for now, why don’t you go read in your room for a little bit, okay?”

“Uhhh, Aaron?” Sean had a questioning look on his face.

“What Jack said is true. Spencer has moved in with me, us”.

“Soooo, you two are….together?”

Aaron smirked, “Yes, we are together”.

“Well, okay,” He looked over at the quiet man on the couch, “Hello again Spencer”.

“Sean,” Reid said a little stiffly.

Sean pulled his brother into the kitchen for some privacy, “Aaron, when did that happen? And…well, I don’t know how to ask this…”

Aaron sighed, “We’ve been seeing each other almost 10 months now, and if you’re asking if I’m gay, I’m actually bisexual”.

“Wow, does, you know, Mom know?”

Aaron’s face darkened and he had a hard edge to his voice when he answered his brother, “No and you aren’t going to tell her”.

“Okay, okay but I wish you’d tell me why”.

“Sean, there are some things you are better off not knowing”.


	19. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Aaron finally come out to the team

The team was having dinner at a quiet restaurant. They wanted to get away from the station and get their minds off their current case. Sometimes going at it too hard caused stumbling blocks and that’s why Hotch was such a hard ass about food and rest. He was sitting next to Spencer and gave him a look that said he was going to tell the team about them. Spencer sat up straighter and tried not to look at anyone.

“I have something to tell all of you”. Hotch cleared his throat, took a sip of his drink to steel his nerves. They all looked to him expectantly, waiting for whatever he was going to tell them. “And I need all of you to keep this between us”. He looked at Spencer and smiled warmly, “Spencer and I are in a relationship, and he’s moved in with me”.

“Well, finally. We wondered when you were finally going to let us in on your secret”. Morgan joked. He smiled and lifted his glass, “Congratulations”.

“You guys already knew?” Spencer looked around confused.

“It didn’t take a profiler to see something was going on, and watching you two around each other for the last few months we started to put two and two together”. Alex laid a hand on Spencer’s arm, “Are you happy?” She knew how hard it had been for him after Maeve’s death, for him to find love again was something she had hoped for.

Spencer slowly smiled and looked at Hotch, “Yes Alex, I am”.

Alex looked over at Hotch and didn’t need to ask, but she did anyway, “And you Hotch?” 

He smiled his real dimple revealing smile and said, “Yes Alex, I am very happy”. And that right there was all they needed to know.


	20. Texas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has a hard time dealing with the events after Texas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is a little on the vague side, but if you've seen Demons you'll understand.

Hotch was in the kitchenette of the plane getting some more coffee when Garcia walked in. He stopped what he was doing and turned to her, “Garcia,” he took a breath because he didn’t know how to tell her how grateful he was. His normal stoic mask slipped a little and his emotions leaked through.

“Oh, bossman, you don’t have to say anything”. She laid a hand on his arm.

“I don’t know…” He looked up and off to the side trying to regain his composure. He and Spencer hadn’t told Cruz about their relationship yet, so he was trying to keep it together.

“Sir?”

“Penny, if you hadn’t done what you did, I don’t know…” She knew what he was trying to say.

“Hotch, don’t, he’s still here, just remember that, okay?” She gathered him into her arms and hugged him. 

After a couple of seconds he hugged her back and whispered in her ear, “Thank you”.

She smiled, “Anytime, well not really anytime, I mean I don’t really want to do that again, but you know if I ever had to because one of my babies was in danger than I would…sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I?”

Hotch laughed slightly and laid a hand on her shoulder, “Penelope, I never want you to have to do that again, but I can’t say that I’m sorry you did it this time”. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he made his way to the seat directly across from where Spencer was sleeping.

“Hotch,” Morgan looked at his unit chief, “He’ll be fine, it’s not the same, okay?” Morgan knew exactly where his boss’s thoughts had gone and he was trying to get Hotch out of his head.

Aaron breathed deeply nodded and said, “Thank you Morgan”.


	21. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Team reconnects after Texas and Aaron makes some promises

Rossi thought it was a good idea to have the team over for some good homemade Italian food, wine and some re-bonding. The events in Texas had shaken them, Aaron and Reid especially. Aaron almost lost another important person to him and he did lose a valuable team member and friend. Reid lost another mentor. So, being the mother hen he got everyone to the house and he was glad of it. Family needed reconnecting and reassuring, especially Aaron and Spencer.

As they were sitting around the large family table Aaron was pulling something out of his pocket. He had something special for Spencer and he wanted to do it now. As conversation lulled he turned and looked at his partner.

“Spencer,”

“Yes, Aaron,” Eyes bright from laughter, good food and wine, he smiled crookedly and Aaron’s heart stopped.

He pulled out the box and set it on the table, “Spencer, I know we talked about marriage, but neither of us wants that, but I wanted…” Aaron was nervous, “After recent events it cemented how much I love you. I want us to wear these as a promise, a promise that I’ll never leave you, I’ll try my hardest not to hurt you and I’ll always do my best to protect you. After Haley…” He choked on his words, “When I saw you…” It was becoming harder to find the words and he couldn’t hold back the tears.

Spencer didn’t care that everyone was watching, laid a hand on Aaron’s cheek, “I know, Aaron, I know. And I know what it cost you to keep going. I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wear your promise because I love you”. He leaned over and kissed his partner, his lover as their family cheered them on.


	22. Cruz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Reid tell Cruz of their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it's Valentine's day and because you guys are so awesome, a bonus chapter for today.

Spencer and Aaron had talked about telling Cruz about their relationship. They knew they needed to. They just hoped that the consequences weren’t too steep. They decided to do it shortly after the disastrous case in Texas.

They both gathered their courage as Aaron knocked on Cruz’s door.

“Come in,” Cruz had his head down and was finishing a report when he looked up and saw who was standing there. He slowly smiled and stood up, “Aaron, Dr. Reid, come in and sit”. 

“Matt, we wanted to talk to you…”

Cruz held up his hand and stopped him, “Aaron, I already know and to be honest I don’t really care. Whatever you two do in your private lives is just that private. You’ve never been anything other than professional”.

Spencer looked confused, they’d been so careful in the office, “How’d you…”

“Do you really think I was that blind in Texas? When you were shot Dr. Reid I thought Aaron was going to tear someone apart. And when he had to keep going, it was on frayed nerves. I noticed but I wanted to let you guys come to me”.

“So, you aren’t going to report…”

Cruz held up a hand and looked at two of his best agents and smiled, “Report what?”

Aaron smiled and shook his head, “Matt, you know you could get into trouble too”.

“Ah, but you didn’t actually tell me anything and I didn’t actually confirm or deny anything so there is nothing to report, do we understand each other?”

Spencer smiled crookedly, “Plausible deniability,” Was all he said as he looked at their section chief.

“Exactly,” Matt exclaimed, “Just keep it professional and you won’t have any problems”.

They both stood up to go and Aaron turned to say, “Thank you Matt”.


	23. Adoption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer has something on his mind and Aaron tries to coax it out of him. What he has to say is surprising.

Spencer and Aaron were at the park letting Jack run off some of his excess energy. Spencer was sitting back against Aaron’s chest with arms wrapped around him and watched Jack and the other kids. He thought about how he had changed so much when it came to children. He wished sometimes, that he had a child of his own. He sighed longingly while watching the kids play.

Aaron sensed that Spencer was thinking about something and looked down into his lover’s face and asked, “What are you thinking about Spencer?”

He breathed deep and slightly shrugged his shoulder. It wasn’t something he brought-up with Aaron, but it had been on his mind a lot lately.

“Spencer, tell me, what’s going on in that never resting brain of yours,” Aaron teased.

“After Maeve I thought…” He took a moment because this was difficult, “I thought I’d have kids”.

“Spencer, you have Jack…”

“It’s not the same don’t get me wrong Aaron, I love him, but he’s yours...” He frowned, “Never mind, it’s nothing…”

“Spencer, this isn’t nothing. Do you…do you want kids Spencer? Please be honest with me”. 

“Yes, Aaron, I do. But I completely understand…”

“Spencer, I’m not opposed to adoption”. Aaron knew it would be hard, but a part him would love to give Jack a sibling.

Spencer sat up and turned to look at Aaron, “Are you sure? It’s a huge commitment and I wouldn’t ask Jessica…”

“Why don’t we look into it, talk to Jack and Jessica then we’ll make a decision”. 

Spencer smiled, “You’d really consider this for me, for us?”

“Yes, Dr. Reid, I would consider this because I love you”.

Spencer smiled wide, turned back around and laid back against Aaron’s chest and said, “Thank you, and I love you too”.


	24. Kate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and the new team member share a bonding moment.

Spencer and Kate were walking the crash site when she told Spencer about her sister and brother-in-law being killed in 911. Spencer contemplated what he wanted to say to her back. He initially hadn’t wanted to like her, change was always difficult for Spencer, but he found he very much liked the new addition to the team.

“My girlfriend was killed in front of me”.

Kate stopped, and turned to look at the young genius, “I’m so sorry. That must have been terrible for you. Is that whose ring you wear?”

Spencer smiled as he looked at the ring that Aaron had given him just a couple of months ago. “Actually no, and I’m surprised no one has told you…” He had a mischievous glint in his eye.

She frowned as she looked at Spencer, “Told me what?”

He took a deep breath. It was one thing to tell the team, people he’d known and trusted for years, but Kate he was just getting to know. “Its umm, its Aaron’s…” He waited for her reaction.

“Oh,” She looked at Spencer’s raised brows and smile, “Ohhh, so you two are…together?” She asked with a smile.

“Yes, we are. It’s been a little over a year, though everyone teased that we always had this…tension between us”.

“Well, I pretty much figured out you were close. I just didn’t know it was that close. Just how do you keep it so quiet?”

“At work we keep it professional. Cruz ‘knows’ but he’s not going to say anything. We ah, we live together”.

“Spencer, if you think this shocks me, it doesn’t. This job is hard enough not having someone makes it harder. If you’re happy that’s all that counts”.

He smiled, “Kate, I’m very happy”.

“Then that’s all that matters”.


	25. Sarah Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Aaron welcome a new addition to the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, before you ask, this is a shameless nod to Doctor Who. 
> 
> Also, I'm taking word prompts so leave me words you'd like to see me play off of.

They spent weeks researching the possibility of adoption. They talked to Jack and he was thrilled with the possibility. Jessica, who adored Aaron and Spencer, said she would be more than willing to help out. When they finally decided to try to pursue they both agreed they didn’t want a baby. In their work they saw too many children abandoned and left behind so they wanted to give one of those kids a chance. When their social worker called about a little 6 year old girl named Sarah Jane, Spencer thought it was serendipity.

“Aaron, I just want to make sure…you really want this?” Spencer looked at his lover with eyes too bright and anxiety in his every movement.

Aaron laid his hands on Spencer’s shoulders, “Spencer, for the hundredth time, yes I want this. I want this for you, for us and for Jack”. He smiled and Spencer finally settled.

They walked into the group home that the little girl was staying at and were immediately greeted by Mrs. Mullins, the social worker. They were shown to a family room where the little girl was sitting on the couch with her head down. 

Mrs. Mullins started to introduce them when the two profilers held up their hands. Spencer sat on the floor in front of the little girl and proceeded to charm her with his magic tricks. In no time at all she looked into Spencer’s face and smiled. That’s when he knew, he just knew that she was meant for them.

They went back every night to spend time with Sarah Jane, even bringing Jack along. And when it came upon two weeks later, they easily made their decision. 

Sarah Jane Cuthbert, became Sarah Jane Reid-Hotchner and at the same time Spencer officially adopted Jack as well.


	26. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah Jane has her first nightmare in her new home.

Spencer and Aaron were woken-up by high-pitched screaming. They knew that Sarah Jane had suffered emotional trauma and they were prepared when the nightmares finally hit the little girl. Her father had killed her mother and brother. The police had gotten to the house before Sarah Jane became his next victim. 

Spencer laid a gentle hand on Sarah’s chest urging her to wake up. When she did she launched into his arms and cried. He took her into his room and placed her between him and Aaron.

“Papa, wa…was…my… Daddy… a bad…man?” She asked between hiccups. 

Spencer looked over at Aaron and they both sighed. How do you explain to a child that their father had a psychotic break? Both their hearts were heavy and they just wanted to protect her and make the nightmares go away.

Aaron sat up and gathered her in his arms, and thought ‘just like Jack a few short years ago’. When he spoke it was with a quiet reassuring voice.

“Sarah, honey, no, no your Daddy was not a bad man. He was sick and sometimes when people get sick they need help. Your Daddy didn’t get the help he needed. I am sure he didn’t mean to do the things he did. He loved you very much”.

She looked at him skeptical, “How do you know?” Tears still slid down her face.

Aaron reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small box and handed it to her. 

“The police told me he had that in his hands when he died”. She opened the box and there was a small picture frame with a picture of her and her brother. 

Spencer and Aaron held her while she cried herself to sleep and she knew her new daddies would be there to chase away the nightmares.


	27. Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has a deep secret that he'll never share

Aaron had a secret. A secret he would go to the grave keeping. When he looked in on Jack and Sarah Jane and saw that they were cuddled up with Spencer as he was reading to them he smiled sadly and thought of his secret.

What no one knew, what he would never tell was that Haley and Jack weren’t the only ones the Reaper threatened. Aaron never knew how Foyet figured out his feelings for the young man, but he had. When he had opened his wallet and saw Haley’s picture with the eye, there was another picture. It was one of Spencer with the birthday hat and a goofy smile on his face. The word “OR” written at the top and the eye as well. When Aaron had heard that Spencer had been shot he thought the worst, he thought Foyet had gotten to him and he panicked. It was only when Emily said that Reid was fine did he settle. 

He kept to himself that it wasn’t only Haley and Jack he was trying to protect but Spencer as well. When he finally got his hands on the psychopath and beat him to death it wasn’t just for Haley. It was the months of fear every time they went in the field and Spencer was out in the open and vulnerable, it was Jack hearing the gunshot that took his Mother away and it was his own pain that so many of his loved ones were threatened by that man. 

Aaron watched as Spencer read to their children face animated, hands never still and he fell in love all over again. He knew right in that moment he would go to his grave keeping that secret.


	28. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack explains about the stars to Sarah Jane.

Jack was sitting on the widow seat looking up at the stars when he heard Sarah Jane stirring in her bed.

“Jackers, why you staring out the window?”

“I’m looking up at the stars,” Spencer had started to go in the room to check on them when he felt Aaron holding him back. He put a finger to his lips telling Spencer to be quiet.

Sarah Jane got out of bed and went over to Jack, “Why you looking at stars?”

Jack looked at his little sister for a minute then he pulled her onto his lap, “I lost my mommy when I was little. Dad told me that she is up in the stars looking down on me, watching me. I talk to her every night”.

“You do?” The little girl leaned into Jack as his arms came around her, “Jackers?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah SJ?” He had started calling her that and she kind of liked it.

She whispered, “Do you think my mommy and daddy are up there?” Aaron and Spencer could still hear her and both their hearts broke for the little girl. 

Jack looked down into her face and saw the silent tears falling. He gently wiped them away as he said, “Maybe your mommy and daddy are up there with my mommy keeping her safe for when we see each other again”. He pulled her in tight holding her, comforting her as she cried.

As she calmed down she whispered, “Would it be okay if I talked to my mommy with you?”

Jack looked down at her, placed a kiss on the top of her head, “Yes, every night if you want to”. Aaron and Spencer let them be for the time being understanding the comfort they had found in each other.


	29. Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer go house hunting. They didn't expect where they ended up.

Spencer and Aaron knew they needed a bigger place. With the addition of Sarah Jane they needed more room, so they started house hunting. They saw a few they liked, but none that truly caught their eye. They were in the realtor’s car, for it was easier for her to just drive them around. Jack was with them this time and he was talking animatedly about the upcoming art fair so no one was paying attention to where the realtor was taking them.

When she stopped the car and they got out Aaron, Jack and Spencer stopped dead in their tracks. Jack’s eyes were wide and tears started to form, Aaron was on the verge of a panic attack and Spencer was just angry.

He turned to their realtor and said, “You need to take us to another house immediately”

Ms. Jamison wasn’t registering what was happening and turned to Spencer, “Mr. Reid, this house has everything you’re looking for and in the price range you specified. It just came on the market and its close to your work and to the chil…” 

Spencer stepped up to the woman and said again, “You need to take us to another house. Now”. He looked at his partner and saw that Aaron was shutting down and Jack was holding onto his father’s waist, crying.

Ms. Jamison saw the look on Spencer’s face, “Well, okay if that’s what you feel about it, I’ve got a couple more that you two will just love”.

Reid gathered Aaron in his arms, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Aaron I really didn’t know”. Aaron just nodded as they got back in the car. Spencer sat in back and gathered Jack in his arms as the realtor drove away from the former home of Aaron and Haley Hotchner.


	30. Gideon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron gets a phone call that devastates Spencer's world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for the episode "Nelson's Sparrow"

The call came to Aaron’s line and he looked over at Spencer not knowing how he was going to tell his lover. He put the phone down and tried to calm his own emotions. Telling Spencer was not going to be easy.

“Spencer,” Aaron’s heart was beating too fast as his own emotions were all over the place.

“Aaron?” He sensed something was really wrong, “What’s going on?”

“I need to go to Gideon’s cabin…”

Spencer swallowed hard, his breathing was shallow, “What, why?”

Aaron stared at Spencer finding it difficult to say the words he needed to say. “Spencer…” He swallowed hard, “Spencer, it looks like,” He took a deep breath, “It looks like Gideon has been murdered. I need to go, do you want me to drive you?”

Spencer sank to the couch, eyes too wide, breathing too shallow, “No, no I’ll call Jess…you go…” Tears were already forming and he felt like a piece of him shattered.

“Spencer,” Aaron got down on his knees in front of Spencer and placed a hand gently on his cheek, wiping away the tears, “Meet us as soon as you can…”

Jess came quickly and Spencer drove as fast as he dared. He was numb. He sat in his car, not wanting to move, not wanting to go in the cabin because if he did it would mean that it was real. He looked up, slowly got out of the car and made his way inside. 

Penelope came up behind him, “Are you sure?”

Aaron looked right at Spencer, “Its him, it’s Gideon”. Reid turned and ran out Aaron quickly followed behind. He found Spencer next to his car and pulled him into his arms and let the younger man cry. “I’m so sorry Spencer. I’m so, so sorry”.


	31. Chess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer are still reeling from the passing of Gideon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bonus chapter. I just thought these two pieces just went so well together. Hope you agree.
> 
> Also, I just found out the official name for this is trabble, huh, you learn something new everyday.

Hotch stopped at Reid’s desk, it was still early and since it was only the two of them he laid a hand on Reid’s shoulder, “You didn’t come home last night”. He looked at the small chessboard and knew. He was trying to give Spencer room to grieve but he knew the man well. Spencer tended to retreat into himself when he was grieving and Aaron noticed he was starting to do that.

He looked away from the chessboard and saw Aaron standing there, “I’m sorry. I just…”

“I know. I miss him too. It was somehow easier to think of him out there, hoping he found his happiness again”.

Spencer swallowed and frowned, “I just wish…” He looked at the chessboard and made a move, swung it around and studied it.

“You wish what Spence?” Aaron sadly smiled because he knew what the younger man was going to say.

“I just wish I could’ve played one more game with him”. Spencer looked at the board and tears fell from his eyes.

Aaron saw they were still alone so he pulled a chair around and sat next to Spencer, allowing his lover to lay his head down on Aaron’s shoulder. “I know Spencer”. Aaron smiled “I wish I could argue with him one more time”. Aaron had a hand carded in Spencer’s hair and he kissed the top of his head. 

Neither man was aware of when Rossi walked in. He stood back and watched the two men comforting each other. He knew they both were still grieving, knew how they both saw Gideon as a surrogate father. Spencer wore his grief on his sleeve, but Aaron bottled it up and let that stoic nature take over. So, he was secretly glad they had each other to help get through this.


	32. Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah Jane is sent to the principals office for hitting a couple of bullies.

“Sarah Jane, why did you hit those other girls?” Spencer asked in a calm quiet manner.

“They were being bullies Papa. They said I was a baby and I couldn’t really read The Hobbit, said I was making it up. They took my book away and threw it around. Mrs. Harlen didn’t even do anything about it”. She continued pouting.

Aaron saw Spencer’s back go up and an equally defiant look in his eye. When it came to any type of bullying he always had to watch the young agent. He put a hand on Spencer’s thigh and gave him a look that said, ‘I’ll handle this’. 

Hotch tuned to the Principal and graced him with the famous Hotchner death glare, “Principal James, while I appreciate the difficulty of your job I do need to ask if the other girls are being punished as well or is our daughter being singled out for some reason?” 

The Principal withered under the stare, “N..no…no sir, she’s not, but she is the one who initiated physical contact….”

Hotch put up his hand, got out his wallet and showed the Principal his bar association card, “Now Principal James, please understand we see the repercussions of what happens to bullied children. Oft times they have a psychotic break and go on a rampage. Seventy-five percent of school shootings are caused because Teachers and Principals like yourself refuse to address the real issue, bullies. Now, if my daughter is being bullied and you refuse to do anything about it, just remember, not only am I a lawyer, but I’m the guy that will save your sorry ass when some kid tries to get their revenge sometime in the future”.

Both Spencer and Sarah Jane smiled wide at Hotch. The bullies received the same punishment as Sarah Jane.


	33. Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's reflections on his relationship with Spencer

Aaron was pretending to be asleep on the plane. He didn’t want to really talk to anyone at the moment because he just wanted to watch his lover. Spencer had fallen asleep reading and Aaron smiled as he thought about the years they’ve worked together. 

If he was honest with himself he always had deeper feelings for Spencer than he let on. Even Haley had commented a few times when she had caught him watching the young man whenever the team was together outside of work. He never acted on those feelings, first he was married, guilt over Georgia, Gideon leaving, the pain of his divorce, Foyet’s attack, Maeve, Beth all of these were excuses. 

If he had really been honest with himself he’d loved Spencer Reid since he joined the team. It would have been unprofessional, or so he convinced himself, to act on those feelings. When he let Spencer take control almost 18 months ago he was secretly relieved. The decision was out of his hands but it had gone so wrong so quickly. His passion had consumed him, he hadn’t found balance at first and it took him leaving for a short time to understand what was going on. 

If he was truly honest with himself then he would have to admit that even Haley didn’t compare to what he felt for the young genius. Spencer didn’t demand what Aaron couldn’t give. They gave each other space, but they never strayed far. Spencer understood Aaron’s black moods and helped lift his feelings of guilt. He didn’t shy away from the fights and he loved unconditionally. Sex was always adventurous and that put a smile on Aaron’s face.

If Aaron was brutally honest with himself he had always been in love with Spencer Reid.


	34. Aaron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer reflects on his relationship with Aaron.

Spencer pretended to be asleep on the plane. He had wanted to sit back and read for a bit, but he half-closed his eyes and watched Aaron. He hadn’t always been honest with himself about his feeling for Aaron. He knew in the beginning that he had been infatuated with his assigned TO. Spencer had always prided himself on how smart he was, but he quickly learned there was a difference between being intelligent and being smart. 

Aaron saw everything, even things the team was trying to hide from him. Aaron always knew just how to push them, without being a total bully, because he demanded the best out of them. 

Aaron was always proud of him, even when he made mistakes. Even in his darkest days Aaron was secretly there. Gideon hadn’t known that Aaron had helped him through his addiction, though he acted as if he was letting Spencer alone. He knew that if it got out that Aaron knew they could’ve both lost their jobs. That was when Spencer realized just how much he loved Aaron. But, he never acted on those feelings because life got in the way, Gideon left, Foyet attacked, Aaron lost Haley, he lost Maeve and ultimately it was that, that brought them together. Their shared loss and the courage to finally tell each other how they felt.

Spencer watched his lover sleep and realized that what he felt for Maeve was nothing compared to the deep feelings of love, trust, understanding, respect and friendship he had with Aaron. Through black moods and nightmares Aaron was there to hold him or let him be. Spencer would always be grateful Aaron let him in the door that day and he got to tell someone that he loved them.


	35. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's scars and how Spencer deals with them.

Spencer had his head on Aaron’s chest; his hand lazily made circles through the thick soft hairs and idly outlined the scars a psychopath had left.

Aaron’s hand was carded through Spencer’s hair, softly massaging his scalp, fingers combed through the soft curls. “Spencer,” He said softly.

Spencer lifted his eyes to look at his lover, “Yes Aaron?”

Aaron had something important he wanted to tell Spencer, but he was having trouble putting it into words, “Thank you”. He frowned slightly because it didn’t quite fully convey what he was trying to say.

Spencer lifted up on his elbow and looked down into Aaron’s face, “For what?” A smile ghosted over his lips.

“For acknowledging these,” He grabbed Spencer’s hand and placed it on one of the scars on his chest. Aaron was still sometimes shy about them, but Spencer unconsciously helped him come to terms with them.

“Aaron,” Now Spencer didn’t know what to say, he took deep breath before he spoke, “They are a part of you. If I ignore them, it means I ignore a big part of your life and I would never do that to you”. He got up and straddled Aaron, slowly lowered his head and kissed all nine of the reminder’s of Foyet’s attack. Tears leaked from Aaron’s eyes at the tender ministrations of his lover.

“Beth was always afraid to touch them, or acknowledge them,” His eyes widened because he hadn’t meant to mention his ex-girlfriend. “I’m sorry Spencer I didn’t mean….”

“Shhh, Aaron she was a part of your life, it’s okay to talk about her because I know it’s me you want”.

Aaron smiled and pulled Spencer back down so that the younger man’s head was lying on his chest holding him tightly.

“Thank you Spencer, for seeing me”.


	36. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer puts himself in danger......again and Aaron is angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad everyone is loving this series. I need word prompts guys, gimme, gimme, gimme word prompts. The more words I get, the more chapters you get.

_“Goddammit Reid, I said the next time you do something like this I would fire you”_. Aaron was seething with anger because his youngest agent had yet again stepped in front of a young unsub who had been the victim of horrific abuse and bullying by his peers.

_“You’re going to hold that over my head? That was seven fucking years ago Aaron. And, if you recall I wasn’t alone this time. Morgan was also there, you going to yell at him too?”_ Spencer was angry because he wasn’t as reckless as he was seven years ago. Seven years ago he was trying to put his life back together after addiction almost shattered it.

_“You put yourself in danger. Did you think at all Spencer? Did you think about our children?”_ Hotch took a deep breath and tried to calm down, “Did you think about me?” His eyes were wet with unshed tears. When he saw Spencer step in front of the unsub to talk him down thoughts of Texas and how close Spencer came to dying flashed through his mind.

“Aaron,” Spencer didn’t have the words because he realized just how much he hurt Aaron, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I just didn’t want to see another dead kid. There have been too many of them on this case Hotch”.

Aaron closed his eyes then looked up at Spencer, “I know Reid,” A high school student had, had a psychotic break and killed 6 students who he saw as weak in less than two weeks.

“I couldn’t let Martin kill that kid, he was so young, it made me think…”

“Made you think what Spencer?”

“It made me think of Jack”.

It all made sense now, “Okay, but there won’t be a third time”.

Spencer smiled, “Understood”.


	37. Begging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer begs for something and Aaron just might give in.

Spencer was straddled on Aaron’s lap, hands on his shoulders, “Please Aaron…I’ve been a very good boy”. Spencer quirked up his brow and had a wicked smile on his face.

“Spencer, I don’t know. You did go into a situation unarmed…again…doesn’t make you a good boy in my eyes”.

Spencer leaned down and kissed Aaron rather passionately, tongue sweeping along Aaron’s mouth trying to encourage the older man to open up. He responded slowly giving in to Spencer’s tender but passionate kisses. They broke apart after a minute.

“Well, I can be a very good boy now”.

“I don’t know, it’s still something I have to think about,” Aaron quirked up his mouth in a sly grin.

“What’s there to think about, we just, you know do it…come on Aaron, it’ll be fun and you know it”. Spencer worked the buttons on Aaron’s shirt to get it off him.

Aaron was finding it hard to keep his composure as Spencer was grinding seductively against him. He swallowed hard and his head fell back against the couch as Spencer ran his hands all over his exposed flesh.

“Spencer we have to think about Jack and Sarah...” Aaron’s breath was shallow as he was trying to process just what it was that Spencer was doing to him.

Spencer lifted his head from Aaron’s neck, where he had been licking and nipping at the soft flesh.

“Aaron, we can watch out for Jack and Sarah. Come on, please?” Spencer was begging with need.

“God, you’re gorgeous when you beg…” Aaron grabbed Spencer’s face in his hands and took his mouth in hard bruising kisses.

After a minute Spencer broke the kiss, “Does that mean yes?” he asked while palming Aaron’s manhood through his pants.

“Fine, dammit, we’ll get a PS4”.


	38. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Aaron and Spencer's second Anniversary and Aaron has an important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word prompts, taking all word prompts.

Spencer woke-up to Aaron on top of him, kissing him, “Sorry, I just couldn’t wait.” And that was all it took. Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron and he let himself be taken. Sometime later Aaron held Spencer close, not wanting to let the young genius go. “Happy Anniversay.” He said smiling.

Spencer sat up with a huge smile on his face, “Happy Anniversary.” He couldn’t believe that they have been together for two years now. 

Aaron sat up and reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small box. He looked at Spencer contemplating the question he wanted to ask. He looked at Spencer for what seemed like forever.

“Aaron, why do you keep staring at me like that?” He was getting nervous at the way his lover was looking at him.

Aaron cleared his throat, “Spencer,” He was nervous but he plunged ahead, “I know I said the promises were enough, but Spence…” He closed his eyes as he tried to find the right words, “I want more. I know it scares you, but haven’t we proven that this isn’t a temporary thing? I won’t make the same mistakes and I won’t let you go as easily as I did Haley. I love you so much more than you could possibly imagine. I meant it when I said I will never leave you and I will always cherish what we have. Spencer, will you marry me?” He looked at his lover, his mate and hoped beyond hope 

Spencer sat up and reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small box, “Seems you beat me to it Aaron.” He smiled as he looked at the love of his life, “You are it for me so yes I will marry you. I’m yours always and forever.”


	39. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer are desperate for each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains smut.

Spencer had part of his scarf stuffed in his mouth as he was backed up against the bathroom wall of the Cook County police station restroom. Long legs wrapped around Aaron’s waist as the older man was buried deep inside his lover. He was riding the younger man hard and fast in a desperate attempt for release.

“God, Spencer…you were…just so… fucking… hot,” Aaron said between hard, heated thrusts. His head was buried in Spencer’s neck as he nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin behind Spencer’s ear.

Aaron reached one hand down to Spencer’s leaking cock and started to pump in rhythm to the thrusts. Spencer’s head fell onto Aaron’s shoulder as he came hard and hot over his lover’s hand. Aaron felt the tight muscles clamp down on his dick and he rode out the orgasm as he spilled deep inside Spencer. 

Aaron held them there for a minute, taking the scarf out of Spencer’s mouth and replacing it with his own needy mouth. Tongues danced in a fight for dominance, tasting each other. Aaron pulled his head back and laid his forehead against Spencer, both panting after the hard and fast sex.

“So, Aaron?” Spencer asked between breaths.

“Yes?” Aaron was trying to get his breath back as well.

“Should I tell off racist, homophobic sheriffs more often?” He smiled brilliantly at Aaron, who couldn’t help it, he took Spencer’s mouth again, this time slower and steadier.

“Next time you do, warn me in advance, because then I think I could control myself better”. 

Aaron let his lover down and they cleaned-up as best they could. 

As soon as they walked out of the locked bathroom Rossi said, “So, you two get that out of your system?” He walked away smiling as they both blushed deeply.


	40. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron shows his jealous streak.

The club was dimly lit and crowded and Aaron and Spencer didn’t know how they got talked into going. The kids were at Jessica’s for a sleepover so they had a rare night to themselves. Spencer was at the bar picking up their drinks, and in Aaron’s mind taking way too long. He looked over to see a man flirting with Spencer. Aaron narrowed his eyes when he saw Spencer give the dark haired man a brilliant smile and then hug him. 

“Seems you’re boy over there made a friend,” Morgan teased.

Aaron growled low in his throat at Morgan and the younger man backed off.

“Aaron, calm down you know Spencer wouldn’t do anything to hurt you,” Rossi said.

Aaron glared at his friend, surged out of the booth when he saw the dark haired man put his hands on Spencer, his Spencer. In the back of his mind he knew he was being irrational, but he just couldn’t stop himself. He moved up behind his lover and grabbed him around the waist in a show of dominance towards the other man.

Spencer smiled as his hands wrapped around Aarons.

“You were taking too long,” He whispered in his lover’s ear.

Spencer turned in Aaron’s arms and looked in his face seeing the dark expression. 

“Aaron, are you…are you jealous?” Spencer looked at him with a quizzical expression.

Aaron frowned, “No, why do you say that?” He asked a little more forcefully than he intended.

Spencer smiled, “Oh I don’t know, that dark look you’re giving my old friend Ethan over here.” 

Aaron looked chargined, “Sorry.” He held out his hand for the other man to take, “So, you’re Ethan.”

Ethan smiled a knowing smile, “Yes. And Spencer is worth being jealous over.” He winked and walked away.


	41. Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The movie Frozen is discussed on the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Disney, but this is dedicated to all the long-suffering fathers that have endured countless hours of watching this movie over and over.
> 
> Prompt from alixcharmed, it's a little different than what you asked for, but I still hope you like it.

_“Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore, let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door,”_

_“JAYJE”_ Reid and Aaron yelled at the pretty blonde at the same time. 

“What?” she asked looking up at the two of them startled. 

“Please, for the love of all that is holy, _stop singing that song.”_ Reid begged. 

The team was on the plane heading to a new case. They had just finished going over all the details and each of them were sitting back and trying to relax. JJ had been flipping through a magazine and she was unconsciously singing the currently popular song. 

“What’s wrong pretty boy?” Morgan asked laughing at the young man. 

“Oh let’s see, JJ decided to give Sarah Jane the movie Frozen. We have been subjected to that movie, let’s see, Hotch?” Reid knew, but he wanted to see if his partner remembered. 

“57 times, that’s what we’re up to now. 57 times. Jack now runs from the living room screaming when she asks to watch it.” Hotch glared at her, “I should hate you for this.” 

Kate looked between the three of them and busted out laughing, “Oh, well I had to endure countless views of The Little Mermaid when Meg was in her Disney mode.” 

“Jessica wanted to put a hit out on you, thankfully we talked her down from it. You owe her something nice.” 

“Come on guys, it can’t be that bad,” She looked at the two men both glaring at her, “I guess it can.” She said under her breath as she looked back down at her magazine and a small smile graced her lips. 

“I could always bring her Beauty and the Beast,” She said wickedly. 

“NO,” they both shout at the same time. 


	42. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer asks Aaron about being seduced.

Spencer and Aaron were on a date at a nice quiet restaurant when he looked at Aaron pensively.

“Spencer, you okay?” Aaron asked with a tiny bit of worry in his voice.

“Two years and I’ve never actually asked you about,” Spencer frowned, “Why you let me seduce you that day.” Spencer blushed deeply. “I mean, I really…well a part of me thought you were going to hit me.” He looked at his partner sheepishly.

“Yet you still were brave enough to try.” Aaron smiled crookedly, “What are you trying to ask me Spence?” Aaron waited patiently.

“Well you always seemed straighter than straight. Am I-I mean was I your first?” Spencer took a drink of water to help his now dry throat, “You know, man?” Spencer asked nervously.

Aaron took a long time to answer. He’d always been pretty private but there’d always been something about Spencer that let him be more honest with him than he was with Dave. 

“Honestly?” Spencer watched Aaron with apprehension, “No, you weren’t my first male relationship. Haley and I had broken-up just before college. While I was there I had a couple of boyfriends.” Aaron smiled at the memories, “When Haley and I got back together I told her everything. She was a little shocked.” He picked up his wine and took a drink, “She was jealous of you.” 

Spencer’s eyes widened, “What? You never told me that.” Then horror filled his eyes, “I wasn’t…I mean I didn’t,”

Aaron grabbed Spencer’s hand “No you weren’t responsible for her leaving. It was the job, and she perceived my feelings for you, but none of that was your fault.” He smiled wickedly, “Actually Haley was my first.” 

Spencer sputtered on his wine, “What?” Spencer looked wide-eyed at Aaron, “Oh,” As realization dawned.


	43. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron elicits a promise from Spencer, but can he actually keep it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a prompt from a writers group.

_Several years in the future:_

Spencer sat in a chair next to the bed his husband, lover and best friend was lying in. He had fallen asleep reading. His pace had slowed down over the years as he learned how to enjoy the reading process more.

“Spencer,” Aaron reached for his husband’s hand, gripping it.

Spencer jolted awake, “Aaron, you’re awake.” He smiled.

“You have to promise me something.” Aaron said in a raspy voice born of old age.

“What?” The younger man looked on with fear and trepidation.

“You have to promise me you’ll let them take care of you. You have to promise you won’t fade away.” Aaron watched the play of emotions on Spencer’s face.

“Aaron, I-I,” Spencer started crying, this was the part he feared, the promises he knew Aaron was going to ask him.

“Don’t cry love. You’ll have them looking out for you. Wrap our children and grandchildren around you, don’t fade away, please.” Aaron let the tears fall. He wasn’t afraid for himself anymore. He was losing the last fight with cancer and he resigned himself to his fate. It was his husband he was worried about. 

“Okay, Aaron, I promise,” He bent down and kissed him softly.

Later that night as Aaron slept and Spencer curled around him he silently passed. Spencer wasn’t asleep and he felt it when the love of his life left this world behind. Spencer silently sobbed closing his eyes and holding Aaron for the last time.

When the doctor and nurses came rushing in a few minutes later they turned off the monitors and knew there was nothing more they could do for Aaron Hotchner. When they went to shake Spencer he didn’t respond. The doctor couldn’t revive him.

Sometimes there are promises you just can’t keep.


	44. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer have a terrible fight

It was their worst fight ever. Luckily the children were with Jessica for the weekend. Words were said that could never be taken back. But Aaron was the one that delivered the deadly blow. He brought up Spencer’s addiction.

Spencer stared at Aaron wide-eyed and stricken, “Aaron, how could you?” His breath was short, his heart was stuttering in his chest. No one moved for what seemed like forever. 

“Spencer,” Aaron realized what he said. He was frozen in place and he didn’t know how to fix this.

Spencer grabbed his messenger bag and his keys and flew out the door.

Aaron started to go after him.

“Don’t,” Spencer told him. He drove off leaving Aaron staring after him.

Aaron found him at Garcia’s curled up on the couch broken and crying.

“What did you do to my baby genius?” Garcia was angry at her boss.

“Let me talk to him Garcia, please?” He asked pleadingly.

“Okay, but you better not hurt him more than he already is.” She gave her boss a Hotchner worthy glare.

“I’m going to try to fix this.” He walked past her. She silently left so the two men could have some privacy.

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He got down on his knees next to the couch.

“That’s not going to fix this.” Spencer sat up staring hard at his lover.

“I know, I know but I love you and I was stupid. I’m so sorry. Please come home.”

Spencer looked into Aaron’s eyes and saw he was broken too. 

“I’ll come home, but Aaron,”

“Yes?”

“Something’s broken between us and it’s going to take a while to fix it.”

Aaron closed his eyes and he let the tears escape. 

“I’m not running away this time Spencer. We’ll fix this, together.”


	45. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the fight

Aaron and Spencer were still reeling from their fight. They were both trying to get over the hurt words thrown at each other. Neither knew where it had come from which was the crux of the problem. But now, it was spilling into the case and it was Rossi who made the bold move to try to break the tension.

“What the hell is going on with you two?” The three of them were locked in the conference room alone. 

“We had a fight, we both said things we shouldn’t have and we’re having a hard time getting past it.” Aaron told Dave.

“Reid, you okay?” Rossi saw that Spencer was sitting on a table in the corner of the room hunched over a file.

“He threw,” He looked up with such pain in his eyes that it broke Aaron’s heart again, “My addiction in my face.”

Rossi looked at Aaron “You’re an idiot.” The tension in the room was still there.

Aaron walked over, took Reid’s face in his hands, “I’m so sorry Spencer. Nothing can make it up to you, but I am sorry.” He bent down and kissed him softly, tenderly. 

“What’s worse is you haven’t, you know, touched me, since.” Reid stuttered out.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me to, at least not yet.”

Rossi was beginning to get uncomfortable around this conversation.

Reid uncurled his body and stood up, grabbed Aaron around the waist, “But I do want you to.” His lips came crashing down on Aaron’s in hot needy kisses.

“And that’s my cue to leave. Do you two want to get a room?” Rossi smirked at the two of them.

They broke apart laughing at the senior profiler, “No, I think we’ll be fine. Spencer?”

“Yes, we’ll be just fine Aaron.”


	46. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid reflects on the times that Aaron has taken his breath away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me prompts. Either a word or if you want to see a particular situation.

_Breathe_ , Reid thought after he came hard in Aaron’s hand. Looking into the eyes of his fiancé and kissing him deeply and passionately.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought after watching Aaron telling off an uncooperative detective. The thrill of his unit chief’s arrogance going right to his core.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought while watching Aaron on a run, the beauty of Aaron’s ecstasy while enjoying the exercise was just sometimes too much and Reid forgot to breathe.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as he watched Aaron with their children, laughing with them, caring for them, cuddling with them and yes even disciplining them when needed. Nothing was sexier than watching Aaron loving the two precious beings.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as he watched Aaron talking down a particularly violent unsub, trying to get in the other man’s head and working him so that they wouldn’t have to kill him.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as they sat across from each other at a particularly romantic restaurant, watching Aaron sip wine and slowly enjoy the superbly delicious meal.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as he watched Aaron and Rossi in a debate over the different meanings of Sociopath vs Psychopath, Aaron’s hands gesturing wildly making Reid’s eyes go dark with lust thinking about what those hands could do.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as he watched Aaron comfort a victim, his compassion lacing every word.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as he watched his lover’s face in the throes of passion as his eyes darkened, and his mouth opened just so in the moments before release. 

_Breathe_ , Reid thought as Aaron held him tight while they danced slowly together in their living room, jazz softly playing in the background and their arms wrapped around each other.

 _Breathe_ , Reid thought as he looked in Aaron’s eyes and said, “I love you.”


	47. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer reflect back on their relationship of the past two years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a double prompt, the word Regrets from JuliaBC from ffn dot net and one from MSwriter07, she wanted a spring/summer theme with reflections. I hope I did both prompts proud.

The Reid-Hotchner family was on a mini vacation, it was early spring and they were at a private cabin in the Allegheny mountain’s taking a break from the city.

Spencer and Aaron were sitting next to each other on a porch swing watching the children play near the water. Jack being careful not to let Sarah get too close.

“Aaron,” Spencer looked softly at his partner, “Do you have any regrets, you know, about us?”

Aaron swayed gently as the warm breeze played against his skin, he looked at Spencer, the sun has been good for him. His hair lightened and his skin had a new warm glow to it. Aaron smiled as he watched the breeze catch Spencer’s hair and gently blew it around the younger man’s face.

“Only one Spencer,” A bright smile crossed his face as he looked at the man who had become everything to him.

“What is it?” Spencer’s brow furrowed in worry. 

“That I didn’t listen to my heart sooner. That I let too much time go by not telling you how I felt.” He laced his fingers through Spencer’s. “I wouldn’t trade these last two years for anything, but I wish I’d had the courage to have even more memories.” He raised their hands and kissed the back of Spencer’s hand.

The sun glistened on the water gently and the children sat with their feet in the water, faces turned up to the sun with wide smiles. They both turned to look at their fathers waving their hands, brown skin glowing from both children. 

Aaron smiled wide, he hadn’t ever truly been this happy and it made him rethink, “No Spencer, in this moment I have no regrets.” Spencer flashed his boyish smile and Aaron fell in love all over again.


	48. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding of Aaron and Reid

It was a quiet affair, mostly just the team and their families or significant others. Jack was dressed handsomely in a tux and Sarah Jane was excited over her new outfit. Spencer and Aaron stood under a beautiful arch in the backyard of Rossi’s mansion and said vows, exchanged rings and made promises to each other. When they were presented to their friends as Mr. and Dr. Reid-Hotchner there were smiles and cheers from everyone. No one begrudged them their happiness. God knows that if anyone deserved second chances at love it was the two men standing in front of them.

They sat at a table just for them and the children, and everyone came by throughout the evening to give them hugs and words of congratulations. 

When it came time for the customary dance Spencer was nervous, but he’d been practicing and when Aaron took him in his arms he suddenly didn’t care how he looked. He swayed with his partner to the slow romantic song as his head fell on Aaron’s shoulder as Aaron held him tightly around the waist. They whispered words of love and kissed passionately as the mood overtook them.

Watching the two men sway with each other put tears in the eyes of some of their friends, the love that was shining through caught them all and their hearts stopped for just a moment. Everyone on the team secretly made a vow to always protect them so that they’d always come home to each other. 

When the music stopped and they broke apart the spell wasn’t broken as Aaron laid a hand on Spencer’s cheek and said, “I love you Dr. Spencer Reid-Hotchner.” His smile showing everything he was feeling in that moment.

“And I love you Mr. Aaron Reid-Hotchner.” This was their forever.


	49. Blackout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer has to deal with his fear of the dark when the children end up comforting him instead of the other way around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for DarkJediQueen and her prompt for a blackout. Hope you like it.
> 
> Remember to leave me prompts. Could be a word or situation. The more prompts the more story for you guys.

Aaron was away on a custodial with Rossi. So it just happened that Spencer was alone with the children when the rain outside turned torrential and caused a blackout.

“Damn, damn, damn not now,” Spencer cried out, a little panic in his voice. He was on the couch with Sarah Jane, they had been cuddled up reading together.

“Papa, what’s wrong?” The little girl asked.

“Nothing,” Spencer’s squeaked.

“Papa, are you okay? It’s just dark Dad says there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Jack said from across the room where he’d been doing some homework.

“Um, yeah, yeah I know that,” Spencer stiffened up at all the things that could go wrong in the dark.

Sarah Jane giggled, “Papa, are you afraid of the dark?” She asked with amusement in her voice.

He was about to lie and say no but Spencer couldn’t do that, “Yes sweetheart, I am afraid of the dark.”

“But nothing bad is going to happen Papa.” She grabbed him around the waist, “Jack-Jack and I will protect you.”

Spencer didn’t want to tell his children that bad things actually did happen in the dark and that was where a lot of his fear came from. He knew all too well what could happen in the dark so when the phone rang and he squeaked, his heart rated jumped and he curled up tighter the kids just watched in amusement.

Jack grabbed the phone, “It’s Dad, Papa.” He handed Spencer the phone.

“Aaron, when are you coming home?” Spencer couldn’t quite keep the fear out of his voice.

“Spence, are you okay?” Aaron asked apprehensively.

“Blackout,” The children had gotten flashlights and cuddled with Spencer.

“You okay?” Aaron asked knowing Spencer’s fear of the dark.

“I will be,” He said as he held the children close.


	50. Prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid tries to care for Kate after their ordeal at the Prison.

Kate was reflecting back on what happened back in the prison when she felt someone sit next to her. The team was flying back home and she had closed herself off, not wanting to talk.

“Did I ever tell you what happened in Georgia?” She turned to look at Reid. All eyes snapped up at the mention of Georgia and those that were there were surprised because he never talked about it.

“Um, no.” Kate said confusion clearly written on her face.

Spencer proceeded to tell her everything and the tension in the plane was palpable. No one ever heard him tell the whole story to anyone and all except Rossi and Kate were on edge.

“Spencer,” Her eyes showed the horror she felt at what the genius had gone through. “Why did you tell me this?”

He smiled sadly, “To let you know that I understand. I understand what it feels like to have someone else take control of your life and hold a weapon to your head and you feel like there is nothing you can do. You were held captive Kate and its terrifying. But, it will be the way that you handle it that will affect you the most.” 

She frowns deeply, “How did you handle it?”

“Not well. I kept it all inside and I did this to myself,” He shows her the scars from his drug addiction. “You’ll have nightmares, let someone help you.” He takes her hand in his, “The point is, you’re not alone. Talk to someone, cry, yell, let it out. Then and only then will you be able to move past it.” She buries her head in his chest and silently cries.

Aaron looks at Spencer and he knows he will have some caring to do himself.


	51. Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer shows everyone just what it is that he carries with him and why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts, still taking prompts. If you got em leave em.

Spencer’s messenger bag was often a mystery to most of the team. They knew he kept stuff that was important to him, but they never knew exactly what. One day he was in the conference room sitting on the table with his bag empty beside him and all the things spread out in front of him.

Aaron walked in and was confused at what Spencer was doing.

“Spencer, what are you doing?” Aaron asked with amusement in his voice.

Spencer contemplated the items before him.

“You guys wonder what I carry in here. I know you’ve wanted to ask me.” He looked at his husband with a smile on his face.

The rest of the team filtered in and watched in curiosity.

“The letter Gideon left me and his chess piece,” He picked them up and put them off to the side.

“Alex’s badge,” He ran his hand over it smiling remembering how happy he was when she was with them.

“Henry’s Spiderman, Jacks Superman and Sarah Jane’s Adipose*,” He held the toys to his chest.

“A bracelet from Elle,” He looked fondly at the jewelry.

“A birthday card from my mom,” He opened it and smiled.

“Maeve’s book,” He looked worriedly at Aaron, who just smiled at him.

“One of Garcia’s troll dolls,” He held it up giving her an impish smile.

“JJ’s old press pass,” He set it aside.

“Morgan’s whistle,” He laughed at the look on Morgan’s face.

“The first Rossi book signing I ever went to,” A brochure from an old event.

“The letter you gave me Aaron,” It was a letter Aaron gave Spencer telling him all the things he felt from two years prior.

“These are what I carry with me all the time, to keep you guys with me all the time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *For those of you that don't know an Adipose is a cute little fat critter from Doctor Who. It's quite a funny episode and the little plush dolls are quite popular.


	52. Maeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron asks about Maeve's book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked if I would write responses to what it was that Spencer carried in his bag. Here's Aaron's.

“You still carry her book.” Spencer’s legs were on Aaron’s lap and he was massaging his husband’s bad knee. He had taken a bad fall on their last case and it was paining Spencer.

“Yes,” Spencer looked down at his hands lost in thought, “Does it bother you?” He asked in almost a whispered voice.

“No, no it doesn’t. You loved her Spencer I would never take that away from you.” Aaron could see that something was bothering Spencer but he didn’t push. “If you need to talk about it Spence I’ll always listen.”

“Today’s the third anniversary,” Spencer closed his eyes and laid his head back on the couch. He loved Aaron more than anything but it didn’t diminish what he felt for Maeve. He tried not to cry because he didn’t know how Aaron would take it.

Aaron could see the struggle on the younger man’s face, “Spencer I love you so much more than I could ever tell you, but I know you loved her. I know it was different and unconventional but it doesn’t mean the feelings weren’t, aren’t real. I think you will always love her.” He reached over and cupped Spencer’s cheek letting him know it was okay.

“Do you,” Spencer frowned not sure if he wanted to hear the answer but he asked it anyway, “Do you still love Haley?” For some reason Spencer was apprehensive about the answer.

“I won’t lie Spence, yes I still love Haley. I think a part of me always will. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you I hope you know that.” 

Spencer smiled sadly, “Yes Aaron I know that. I don’t know why it’s hit me so hard.” His frown deepened as he tried to make sense of his feelings.

“Because you never want to forget her.”


	53. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron reflects on the differences between his marriages, at least in the bedroom department.

Spencer was asleep and Aaron was awake watching him. Spencer’s face was relaxed for once in sleep his boyish features stood out even more. Aaron ached to run his fingers through Spencer’s hair but he didn’t want to wake him. It was so rare that either of them got a full night’s sleep that he didn’t want to ruin it for Spencer. When the sheet moved and much of Spencer’s body was revealed to him Aaron’s breath was taken from him in that moment. His hands ghosted over the milky white skin, but he didn’t touch though he really wanted to.

Aaron’s eyes lingered on the bruises and bite marks he had left from the night before. He was always taken aback at just how passionate his husband was which in turn loosened up his own inhibitions. He’d never felt such passion with anyone, not even Haley. He had to admit, even if it was only to himself but his life with Haley was pretty vanilla. Sometimes, like now, he speculated on how different his life might have been if he had met someone like Spencer first. She had never wanted him to leave marks and he often had to hold back. He wondered if that was one reason he pulled away from her. He was never allowed to bruise her or mark her in anyway and it frustrated him at times. But he loved her enough to hold back, at least in the early years of their marriage. 

Spencer woke to see Aaron staring at him and he smiled sleepily, “What are you thinking?”

“About you,” Aaron finally touched his hair.

“And what about me?” He playfully asked.

“That you’ll always be mine.” He said as he took possession of Spencer’s mouth and body, and Spencer let him.


	54. Prejudice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer are still reeling after their last case, the team tries to cheer them up.

Rossi could tell that Spencer and Aaron were still angry over their last case. The unsub had been targeting homosexual couples and the Bellevue, Nebraska police didn’t help the situation. Only a few on the force acted like they cared. The rampant homophobia put the couple on edge, though they stayed professional.

“Are you guys alright?” Rossi asked as he sat down.

Spencer and Aaron linked hands and sighed deeply, “We will be.” Aaron told his friend.

“You know that it doesn’t matter to any of us, right? We see how happy both of you are. My god if anyone deserves to be happy it’s you two.” Rossi looked at them with compassion and understanding.

Morgan came and sat beside the older man, “Hey don’t let what happened back there get to you. For those that matter we’re here for you.” He reached across the table and put his hand over theirs in a show of support.

“I just don’t understand, I never have” Spencer said quietly. He leaned over and put his head on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Neither do I. It shouldn’t matter who you love but for some reason there are those that hate anything that’s different.” He looked pointedly at Aaron knowing how hard he worked to keep his temper in check.

Aaron sighed deeply, “Thank you Dave, it ah, it means a lot from all of you.” The glare was in place but there was no heat behind it. Everyone knew he was trying to keep his emotions in check.

All of a sudden JJ starts singing, “And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,”

Then Morgan and Kate, “Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.”

“Taylor Swift, really guys?” Aaron laughs.

“Made you smile,” JJ smiles wide at her two favorite people.


	55. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finds himself alone for the first time in a long time, but does he really like it?

Aaron was rarely alone so when Spencer decided to take the kids to the science museum he declined to go. He said that it would be nice to have a few hours alone and Spencer understood. So Spencer bundled the kids up, herded them out the door and left Aaron to his own devices.

Aaron tried to concentrate on some paperwork but he couldn’t. He made himself a light breakfast ate it while reading the paper, cleaned up and just stood there. The silence should have been comforting. Should have made him feel at peace, let him breathe, but it didn’t. He felt the silence was deafening. 

He put on the game and tried to watch but couldn’t. He then put on a movie but had a hard time concentrating. He grabbed a book off the shelf and tried to read, but couldn’t. He went out to the garage and started puttering around working on some forgotten projects, but gave up halfway through all of them. The yard was tidy from the previous weekend so he couldn’t do that. The house was clean, he and Spencer tried to keep it that way every day. He was feeling out of sorts. 

He grabbed his keys and a book and drove to their favorite coffee shop, got a cup and sat down in the corner with the book but just sat and stared at it. Then he took a walk, window shopping but that interested him even less than everything else.

He picked up some lunch and made his way back home. Once inside he ate almost mechanically. 

When the door opened and his family walked in he smiled wide.

“What’s that look for,” Spencer asked.

“I find I don’t like being alone.” He said as he kissed his husband.


	56. Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer talks about The Reid Effect

Aaron and Spencer were sitting in the backyard relaxing watching their kids play with friends. Spencer had a smile on his face and he started chuckling.

Aaron looked over at his husband with raised brows, “What is so funny?”

“The Reid-effect,” He looks over at Aaron and chuckles again. “I think it’s pretty much broken.” He says as one of the kids runs over to the two men, unafraid of either of them.

“Do you want to play chess Mr. Spencer?” The little girl named Britt asked enthusiastically.

“Sure, you know where the board is,” He smiles after her.

“Spencer I think it was pretty much broken when JJ put Henry in your arms. Then of course there’s Jack.” Aaron smiled wide.

“I know it’s just funny that I was so afraid of children, especially when I first started. Gideon,” His conversation stopped for a moment as he thought about his old mentor, “He ah, he always tried to get me over it.” He said quietly as he got up and went over to the chessboard being set-up by Britt.

Aaron closed his eyes for a moment and wondered if Spencer would always feel this sadness when it came to Gideon. He supposed it was better than his anger. 

Aaron watched as Spencer patiently showed Britt some new chess moves. She was quite the fast learner and in no time she was thinking several moves ahead. It reminded Aaron of how Gideon was with Spencer in the beginning, and he wondered, not for the first time, where it all went wrong.

After a few minutes all the children had surrounded Spencer and he was smiling again, letting them touch him. When he looked back at Aaron the smile on his face made Aaron fall in love all over again.


	57. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron can't stop seeing the blood on his hands.

“MORGAN,” Yelled Aaron as he held the wound on Spencer closed, “ _I need help._ ”

Morgan ran over to see that Aaron was trying to staunch the flow of blood. “We got Terrance Michaels.” Morgan told him as he dropped next to Spencer.

“Where are the EMT’s” Hotch yelled angrily. There was so much blood and Aaron was having trouble keeping it together.

“Sir, you have to let go,” An EMT next to him said quietly. 

Aaron didn’t move, he was paralyzed, “Sir, if you want us to help him you have to let go.” Aaron looked up at the EMT, tears were streaming down his face. The tech laid a gentle hand on his shoulder as another placed his hands on top of Aarons.

“On three, let go,” The tech said gently. Aaron did as he was told and as he fell to the side Morgan was there to catch him.

“Can you tell me what happened?” The tech asked, but all Aaron could see was the blood on his hands. Spencer’s blood, it was pooling, staining the ring on his left hand.

“The suspect was lying in wait when Dr. Reid got to the side of the house, he jumped out and stabbed slicing through his vest,” Morgan told the tech. 

Later at the hospital Aaron kept looking at his hands. They were clean but all he kept seeing was Spencer’s blood.

“Aaron,” His head shot up at the gruff voice, “I messed up.” Spencer joked, trying to smile at his husband.

Aaron shot out of the chair and kissed him, “You scared me.” 

“Sorry.” Spencer raised a hand and laid it on Aaron’s cheek.

“I love you,” Aaron’s voice was full of his fear. Spencer fell back to sleep and Aaron went and washed his hands yet again.


	58. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer is home recovering from his injuries

“Aaron stop hovering,” Spencer was getting frustrated with his husband. He had been home for a week from the hospital and Aaron kept hovering. He had taken some time off to help Spencer while he healed.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Memories and fears had surfaced. He knew he was overcompensating and knew how independent Spencer could be when hurt or sick.

Spencer heard that little something in Aaron’s voice that let him know just how scared Aaron was. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap. I know how afraid you were and I know you just want to take care of me.” He sighed as he laid his head back on the couch.

“It’s okay,” Aaron ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair and bent to kiss him. Just then the door opened and Jack and Sarah Jane were home from school. Jack ran up and carefully hugged Spencer before running into his room. Sarah Jane however hovered near. She had been scared that her Papa wasn’t coming back.

Spencer looked up and saw her standing there, “Come here sweetie,” He held out his arms and she tentatively went to him. “Sweetheart are you okay?” Spencer asked his daughter.

“I was so scared Papa. When Daddy said you were hurt,” She leaned in and cried. Spencer pulled her close and held her tight.

“I’m so sorry Sarah Jane. I never want to make you sad.” He kissed the top of her head.

“Don’t leave me Papa,” She held on tight as she cried harder.

“I’m not going to leave you, I promise.” He closed his eyes hoping that he could keep that promise.

Aaron sat on the other side of Sarah Jane and sat close to her, “Honey I will always protect you’re Papa.” He grabbed Spencer’s hand and held on.


	59. Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer has a problem that he hadn't told Aaron yet.

Spencer’s recovery was taking longer than he thought. Part of the problem was the pain, he was only on high dose Motrin. There was something he hadn’t told Aaron and he felt a slight shame. The hospital had screwed up when he first came out of the anesthesia. They gave him a morphine drip. 

The Doctor hadn’t gotten his records quickly enough and Aaron wasn’t in the room when it happened. When Spencer figured it out he yelled at the Doctor and they quickly changed his medication, but he didn’t tell Aaron. He knew his husband would yell at the whole staff and not just the doctor. Unfortunately this posed a problem. Spencer’s craving for dilauded was just there on the edge of his pain. He hadn’t called his sponsor and he knew he should. 

Aaron came home early because he was worried about Spencer. When he didn’t see him in the living room he went to see if his husband was resting. Aaron found him on their bed shaking and crying. Aaron immediately worried.

Aaron shed his coat, tie and shoes and laid down next to Spencer and carefully wrapped his arms around the younger man.

“Tell me,” was all he said as he stroked Spencer’s hair.

Spencer finally told Aaron, he couldn’t keep it in anymore, “They gave me a morphine drip,” He curled into himself as shame filled his voice, “I’m having trouble Aaron.” He cried harder.

Aaron closed his eyes cursing the hospital. “Spencer, it wasn’t your fault. We’ll get through this.” He held on tighter.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Spencer turned and buried his head in Aaron’s chest.

“It’s not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m here I’ll always be here.” He kissed his husband softly and held him tight.


	60. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer is back to work and the team keeps hovering.

Spencer was back at work and everyone was hovering. He knew Aaron wasn’t the only one who had been afraid. When he saw the tin of cookies he smiled and knew they were from Garcia. The coffee from his favorite shop was from Morgan, the robot construction kit was from Kate, the dinner reservations were from Rossi and the book was from JJ.

Spencer smiled as he sat down at his desk.

“Guys really, I’m fine,” He started to say.

“Reid, indulge us, okay?” Kate smiled as she looked at Spencer. “We were all worried, for both of you.” A bit of sadness crossed her eyes as she thought of her sister.

“Henry cried all night, he thought…” JJ didn’t want to finish her statement because it broke her heart to think of what might have happened to her little brother.

“Jayje,” He said softly as he walked to her, bent down and gave her a hug. “I love you,” He whispered in her ear.

She pulled back and smiled, their friendship repairing that much more, “I love you to Spencer. Don’t scare me like that again.” She grabbed his hand and held it.

He sat back down and started to work on his stack of consults. He was deep in concentration when a coffee mug was put in front of him.

“How’s the first day back?” Aaron asked with a softer than normal expression.

“Everyone keeps hovering. I know they care but,” He looked up at Aaron, “They’re hovering. Almost as bad as you,” He chuckled.

“They were scared, almost as much as I was.” Aaron frowned to school his emotions.

“I know,” Spencer smiled softly, “I guess it’s what families do.” He looked over at Kate and JJ and graced them with one of his boyish smiles.


	61. Suspension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets suspended for fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so late, damn asthma has no sense of schedules.

Aaron and Spencer picked Jack up from school, from the principal’s office no less. He’d been suspended for three days for fighting. When they were in the office Jack wouldn’t tell the principal what the fight was about.

Jack went to his room and for the time being Aaron and Spencer let him be. After dinner Aaron went in and sat next to his son on his bed, “Buddy, you want to tell me now what you were fighting about?” Aaron’s voice was gentle as he tried to coax the truth out of his son.

“They were making fun of you and Papa,” Jack said sadly. He had his head down and his hands were twisting together.

Aaron sighed, he had wondered if something like this might happen, “Jack, we haven’t really talked much about this with you have we?” 

Jack looked at his father, “You didn’t have to. You’re happy Dad, happier than you’ve been in a long-time. Papa’s good for you. I just got so mad, they don’t understand.” Fire flashed in his son’s eye and Aaron was secretly proud that Jack stood up for them.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Aaron worried often that his time away hurt his children, but Jack seemed to take it in stride.

“I know Dad.” He leans over and hugs his father tightly, “I love our family just like it is. I just wish the kids weren’t so mean.” He sighed as he laid his head again Aaron.

“Jack, there will always be mean people, but it’s how you handle it that shows who you are.” 

“So I should be more like Papa and talk them down?” Jack looks up at his father.

“We should all strive for that Jack he’s pretty good at it.”


	62. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is that much closer to giving into his darkness.

Aaron stood holding a gun on the unsub. His thoughts twisting and swirling inside, _another monster who hurt children, why can’t I just kill him? What would that make me? Would I become one of them if I did? How do I keep Jack and Sarah safe knowing what’s out there._

These thoughts always entered his mind when the person they were looking for went after children. The temptation was there to just end their life. Aaron was always wrecked after these types of cases and today would be no different. Finally Morgan was able to take the suspect down and Aaron slowly put his gun away and regrets that he couldn’t do what he really wanted already entered his mind. He stalked off and the team, well most anyway, knew not to approach him.

“What do you need?” Spencer had cornered him.

“I don’t know,” Aaron said gruffly almost angrily as he stalked off so Spencer let him be for now.

They were back at the hotel and when on cases the married couple often got separate rooms. They both considered it unprofessional to be together on a case, except for times like this. Spencer expected him and when Aaron knocked he was prepared.

Aaron often was frantic, demanding and sometimes would cause pain. Spencer took it, took it all and relished the bruises and the bite marks. He reveled in the fact that Aaron came to him to release the pain and torment these cases always marked him with. He let Aaron indulge his darkness, harness it then purge it and hours later when they lay sweaty in a tangle of limbs Aaron would desperately cling to Spencer and cry. 

Each time he thinks he’ll give in let the bullet fly and damn the consequences.


	63. Morgan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan reflects on his own feelings about Hotch and Reids realtionship.

Morgan had been watching Reid and Aaron closely over the years. He had always known that there was more to their relationship than they even let themselves acknowledge. He knew Reid had always harbored a crush on their boss and he knew Aaron was always a little more protective of Reid. He knew they never acted on those feelings, not till almost three years ago. At first when he saw the way the relationship was going he felt compelled to step in. Both of his friends had been hurting but he hadn’t known what to do about it. It frustrated him because he cared, he cared deeply for them but he knew they needed to work it out themselves.

When they finally did work it out and came out to the team Morgan was thrilled for them. He knew the tragedies they suffered changed them both, had frozen them in place and neither man had found it easy to move on. Morgan also knew that Beth was never going to be enough for Hotch. She wouldn’t understand him the way he needed to be understood, the way Haley never did. He was finally relieved when the two men admitted their feeling for each other.

When they got married Morgan’s happiness for them soared. And he vowed to always be there to protect the both of them in the field. So, as he sat in another hotel bar and watched the two men sitting in a secluded table cuddled together and quietly talking it set Morgan’s heart at ease that at least two of his family had found the happiness that they more than deserved. And he vowed to always protect them no matter who or what came after them.


	64. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The office ran out of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back.

Spencer stood in the kitchen unblinking staring at the coffee pot that wasn’t on and had no coffee in it. He hadn’t wanted to run out to get coffee because they had too much work to do.

Aaron walked into the kitchen and saw his husband standing there just staring, “Reid,” when Spencer didn’t respond Aaron touched his shoulder and the younger man jumped.

“Hey, it’s ah just me Spence,” Aaron couldn’t keep the amusement out of his eyes.

“Coffee,” Spencer was glassy eyed as he held out his cup, “Gone, all gone.”

Aaron chuffed out a laugh, “Just make another pot Spence,” he said as he started to search the cupboards.

“Gone, like I told you,” Spencer’s heart was beating too fast, he really needed his coffee.

“Calm down I’ll go get us some, you go back to work.” Aaron told him.

Just then an agent ran into the kitchen “I’m so sorry there was a mix-up with the supply order and,” She stepped back by the look in Reid’s eyes, “And there is no coffee, at all the whole building is out.” She squeaked as Reid slowly walked toward her. She turned tail and ran from the BAU office in fear of Spencer Reid. 

“Spence, I can go get us coffee,” Aaron told his husband with amusement in his voice

Spencer spun, eyes slitted, “You think this is funny, it’s not funny Aaron, not funny at all.” He stalked off to his desk in a rather foul mood.

No one dared speak with Reid till Aaron came back with a rather large overly sweet cup of fresh coffee.

The agent from earlier came into the office and dropped off several canisters of gourmet coffee and ran. 

“I think you scared her.” Aaron said as he passed by Reid’s desk.


	65. Drinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer has noticed that Aaron has been drinking more and it worries him.

Spencer noticed it more and more. Another glass of scotch here and there and it worried him. He knew that Aaron and Dave often shared a drink after some of their tougher cases, but he noticed that Aaron started to drink more at home. He was worried that Aaron was starting to use it as a crutch and he wasn’t sure how he was going to confront him.

Spencer asked Jessica to take the children for the weekend. He wanted to confront Aaron without the kids around because he knew this might get heated. He was pretending to read when he noticed out of the corner of his eye Aaron reaching for the bottle yet again.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough Aaron?” Spencer wasn’t subtle.

Aaron narrowed his eyes at his husband and wondered at the tone in his voice, “What are you talking about Spencer?” He asked as he was about to pour his third glass.

Spencer took a deep breath, put the book aside and walked over to where Aaron was standing.

“That will be the fourth glass of scotch you will have had tonight.” Spencer grabbed the bottle out of Aaron’s hand and went to the sink and poured the rest out. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Aaron got angry, _wasn’t he entitled to relax a little_ he thought.

“Aaron,” Spencer turned around and looked hard at his husband, “I think you have a problem.” He waited for the yelling or the quiet anger he wasn’t sure what he was going to get.

“Spencer, I don’t have a probl-“ Spencer cut him off with a look.

“Yes you do, I think you need to talk to someone.”

“I’m not a fucking alcoholic Spencer.” Aaron said coldly.

“Not yet.” Spencer said as he walked away.


	66. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave confronts Aaron about his anger with Spencer

Aaron was still angry over what Spencer had done over the weekend. He went through the house and packed-up all of the liquor and took it over to Morgan’s. They had a terrible fight and Spencer actually slept in Jack’s bed.

“So, what’s got your panties in a twist Aaron?” Dave asked as he sat down in front of his friend’s desk.

“Nothing,” He growled out.

“Okay, that isn’t nothing Aaron. You’ve been snapping at Reid all day and he is just taking it. That’s not like him since you two got together. He’s learned to stand up for himself more. So tell me, what is going on?”

Aaron glared dangerously at Dave, “He thinks I have a damn drinking problem.” His lips thinned in a grimace.

“And do you?” Dave asked in that certain way of his.

“I’m not my damn father.” Aaron said angrily.

“No one said you were Aaron.” Dave narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Maybe you need to step back and take a look at yourself. If your husband is worrying about you maybe he has some insight, don’t you think?” Dave gave him one last long look before he got up and walked out.

Aaron glared after Dave as he walked out of his office.

Penelope softly knocked on Aaron’s door, “Um bossman,” She jumped when he swung his gaze over to her, “We got a case.” She said quietly as she ran into the conference room.

_Damn_ , he said to himself. He hadn’t meant to scare the analyst. _I’ve got to get it together_.

When they got on the plane Spencer sat at the farthest seat opposite Aaron. This didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the team but they knew better than to interfere. 

“Let’s get started,” Aaron said ignoring Spencer.


	67. Strained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's drinking strains their relationship further

Aaron couldn’t take it anymore. Spencer was ignoring him other than working the case. They had been in Miami a week and they were only marginally closer to the Unsub than when they first got there. They were sharing a room, but Spencer had been silent all week.

“Goddammit Spencer talk to me.” Aaron was angry still and he wasn’t sure why.

Spencer looked up from the case files he was reviewing, “And say what Aaron? You obviously don’t want to talk about what happened, so what is there to say?” Spencer gave him a good imitation of the Hotchner glare.

“This is fucking ridiculous Spencer, we are grown adults.”

“Yeah, well when you were yelling at me for getting rid of the booze it didn’t feel like you were very adult.” Spencer set the files aside and sat back in the chair he was in.

“You had no right-“ Whatever Aaron was going to say was cut off by the look Spencer was giving him.

“No right? No right Aaron? What? I had no right being concerned about you? This has been going on for months and I didn’t say anything. I’ve kept quiet, but when you go in Jack’s room to read him a story and you’re fucking drunk I couldn’t hold back anymore.” 

Aaron looked horrified. He didn’t remember doing that. “I didn’t do that. I would never-“ He surged off the bed and left the room. Spencer knew Aaron’s pride was rearing it’s ugly head and he didn’t know what to do.

A couple of hours later the hotel bar called his room telling him to come get his Unit Chief luckily none of the other team members saw him take a very drunk Aaron Hotchner back to his room.


	68. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer makes a desperate move and seeks out the help of Dave.

“Papa, what’s wrong with Dad?” Jack asked as they stood on the doorstep of David Rossi’s house.

“Jack, we’ll talk in the morning, okay?” He was trying to hold it together for the kids but it was taking everything he had. He knocked on the door and waited.

A minute later Dave opened the door and was shocked to see Spencer and the children. “Reid, what’s going on?”

“Dave, can we stay with you for a few days?” The misery in the young man’s eyes pulled at his heart.

“Of course come in.” Dave didn’t know what was going on, but he had a pretty good idea.

“Jack, take Sarah to the game room. I need to talk to Uncle Dave okay?”

“Okay Papa,” Jack said quietly as he grabbed his sister’s hand and made their way around the familiar house.

“Okay kid, what’s going on?”

He blew out the breath he was holding as he folded himself on the couch, “Aaron won’t admit that he might have a problem. It’s been going on for months. Tonight he yelled at Jack and I-I,” Spencer finally broke and cried, hard wracking sobs that had Dave seeing red. He wasn’t normally a demonstrative person, but he found himself pulling the younger man in for a hug.

“Reid, you guys can stay here for as long as you need.” His heart was hurting for the sensitive young man. 

After a minute Spencer pulled away and sat up, “I’m sorry, it’s just been difficult. I know all about denying addiction, but Aaron…” He hung his head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Reid, I’ll get a couple of rooms ready, you guys rest tonight and tomorrow we’ll try to figure this out, okay?” Rossi got up and cursed Aaron Hotchner.


	69. Diffusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer has time to process with Rossi

It was the next morning and Spencer was wrecked. He knew the stage Aaron was in and he knew he needed to be careful, but he didn’t want the children to witness what was happening.

“Papa, what’s wrong with Daddy?” Jack asked again.

Spencer pulled the eleven year old on his lap, “Jack your Dad is going through a difficult time right now. He’s having some problems that he needs to figure out. I want you to stay with Uncle Dave while I go talk to your Dad okay?”

“Will he be okay?” The sadness in Jack’s eyes broke Spencer’s heart.

“He will be Jack, okay? I promise,” Jack just nodded his head and went back to comfort his sister.

“What are you going to do Reid?” Dave sat down with him handing him a cup of coffee.

“There are two things I won’t do. One is gang up on him, that never works and, Two leave him to figure it out on his own. Gideon did that to me and it was,” Spencer looked into his coffee frowning, “Painful, but he needs to understand. I’m going to call Morgan, maybe the two of us can get through to him. If not,” Spencer looked to the side and closed his eyes, “I won’t give up on him Rossi, I can’t. He was there for me when I was struggling through my addiction it’s the least I can do to be there for him.” He struggled to keep his emotions in check, “I love him too much.”

Dave stared long and hard at the younger man, “Okay Reid, whatever you need just let me know.” Rossi was worried about Morgan’s temper.

“Thanks.” Rossi got up and left as Spencer called his own sponsor to help steel his courage.


	70. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Morgan try to talk to Aaron

“Reid wait Are you sure you want me here?” Morgan put a hand on Spencer’s shoulder holding him back before they went into the house.

“Morgan I know you’re angry,” Spencer frowned, “He’s broken Morgan and I don’t know why he won’t tell me he’s not thinking straight believe me I’ve been there.” Morgan closed his eyes and old regrets came to the surface.

“Okay, okay, come on.” He slowly walked up to the house behind Spencer.

“Aaron?” Spencer called out softly.

“You came back?” The hope in Aaron’s eyes broke Spencer’s heart just a little more.

“Well, that depends on you Aaron.” Spencer sat down across from Aaron, “It depends on if you are ready to admit there is a problem.” He said quietly

“Hotch, we’ve all noticed something going on with you. We’re here but you have to make those first steps.” Morgan tamped down his anger at seeing how desperate his friend, his Unit Chief looked. 

“Spencer,” Aaron’s voice deepened, “I,” He couldn’t say it, couldn’t admit it. He didn’t want to show weakness.

Spencer closed his eyes and couldn’t hold back the tears, “Aaron I’ll be there for you but I can’t stay here if you can’t admit what’s going on. I love you,” He took his husband’s hand, “And when you are ready to confront this I’ll come back, we’ll come back.”

“Spencer, you can’t take Jack..” His breath hitched and his heart was heavy.

“Aaron I’m not going to let the children see you like this. You yelled at Jack for no reason, he’s afraid of you right now Aaron.” Silent tears kept falling as Spencer’s heart was breaking.

“Hotch please, we all need you.” Morgan pleaded.

Aaron’s face darkened, “I can handle this, come home please.” 

“I can’t,” Spencer left and Aaron broke.


	71. Absence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron realizes just how serious Spencer is and he finally looks honestly at himself.

Aaron couldn’t believe that Spencer left and took the children. He didn’t believe that his husband would follow through on his threat. I don’t have a goddamn problem. I don’t have a – shit. Aaron stopped a moment and looked around and finally realized the consequences of his actions. This wasn’t like him why was he drinking more? 

He didn’t often look inside himself but he decided to do just that. He tried to find where everything started going wrong. Then it hit him, it was that case several months ago when he realized just how easily he could actually kill in cold blood. It had shaken him to his core and slowly he started to drink a little more to drown out those deadly urges. 

He had yelled at Jack. _Oh God, I yelled for no reason at my son, Haley, what am I doing?_ He sat down hard on the couch and the first thing he noticed was that he wanted to pour himself a glass of scotch. Tears slipped down his face as he began to realize how much trouble he was in.

“Oh God Spencer, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He said to the empty room. He then broke down realizing just how badly he messed up. He hadn’t let go like this since Haley’s death. He knew he should have listened to his husband. If anyone knew the signs of addiction it would be him.

With shaking hands he opened his laptop and looked for the nearest AA meeting. He sat in the back and just listened. When they asked if there was anyone new he stood on shaky legs.

He knocked on Rossi’s door and Spencer opened it.

Aaron handed him a 24 hour commitment coin as tears again silently slipped down his face.


	72. Detox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer helps Aaron through a rough detox period.

Spencer went home with Aaron, but the kids stayed at Rossi’s. He didn’t want them to watch what was going to happen to Aaron.

“Aaron, are you sure you want to do this here?” Spencer was worried because he knew how difficult detoxing could be.

“Please Spence, I just,” They were laying down in their bed holding each other needing the contact after being separated for almost two weeks, “I just need you.”

“This isn’t going to be easy for you Aaron, trust me.” He held his husband close.

“I know,” He closed his eyes and curled closer to his husband, “I’m scared Spencer,” He whispered softly.

Spencer closed his eyes and schooled his emotions. Aaron didn’t need to see him breakdown he knew how difficult it was for his husband to admit his fears.

“I’m right here, I’ll get you through this, but you have to really want it Aaron,” Spencer held his breath waiting for the answer.

“I can’t lose you, I can’t lose our children. Please don’t leave,” Aaron buried his head in Spencer’s shoulder. “I want it Spencer, I need to do this.” 

“Okay.” He ran his hands through Aaron’s hair, softly stroking and soothing his husband. “I already got us some time off. I just told Matt we needed some time away. We both have some accumulated time so he gave us two weeks.” Spencer thought about all the times Aaron had helped him and he knew he wasn’t leaving.

Just as Spencer predicted it wasn’t easy. Aaron sweated and shook, had nightmares and mood swings, nausea and headaches. He hadn’t been drinking heavy long enough so thankfully no hallucinations. Spencer let him yell, curse and beg then held him at night when he broke down. In the end Spencer knew they would be stronger together.


	73. AA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron attends another AA meeting with Spencer by his side.

A couple of weeks after Aaron’s detox he went to another meeting. This time Spencer went with him holding his hand giving him strength and encouragement. It was one that catered to those that were in law enforcement, not unlike Spencer’s own NA meetings.

Tonight Aaron took a chance and felt the need to share.

“Hello, my name is Aaron,” The group greeted him, “I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic but I know I have a problem. It started a few months ago, we ah had this case, it was another psychopath hurting children,” He swallowed back the tears that wanted to come, “I found that,” He stumbled on his words, “I found that in that moment I could actually kill this man, I wanted to kill this man in cold blood. I felt I was no better than the unsub’s my team pursues.” His breath was shallow and his heart was beating fast, “I started drinking more because I was afraid of what I was feeling.” He looked at Spencer who just looked at him with love and encouragement. “If it wasn’t for my husband I don’t know where I would be right now.” Aaron couldn’t talk anymore, this was more than he revealed to anyone at anytime other than Spencer. He fled the podium and went back to his seat. 

The group clapped their encouragement and the next person approached.

“I’m proud of you Aaron,” Spencer whispered in his ear.

At the end Aaron wanted to flee but he was stopped at the entrance by a familiar face. “Seeley, what, what are you doing here?”

“Hello Aaron. I’ve been coming here for a while now.” He shook his fellow agent’s hand, “Why don’t we talk.” And that’s how Aaron got his sponsor.


	74. Reconnecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer shows Aaron just exactly what he was feeling.

Spencer and Aaron were home. It had been a difficult case and there were times when Aaron wanted a drink but Spencer was there to hold him, to talk through it but they hadn’t been intimate for a while. The children we’re with Jessica so they had the house to themselves.

It was Spencer that took the initiative because Aaron was suddenly hesitant. His sobriety was still new and he wasn’t sure how Spencer was feeling. As soon as they walked over the threshold he found out just exactly how Spencer was feeling when he was pushed up against a wall and his husband was all over him, tearing at clothes, trying to get closer, to feel more.

“Aaron, I need you, it’s been too long,” His lips connected with Aaron’s and he was lost, they both were. Spencer had the sudden thought that Aaron’s taste changed, he sort of missed that hint of bourbon mixed with coffee that was uniquely his husband. But he didn’t miss what the alcohol was doing to Aaron, to them as a family so he was happy to explore the new Aaron. 

Suddenly the need to get to flesh overtook the both of them and by the time they made it to the bedroom clothes were strewn all over the house and there was an air of desperation surrounding them.

“Oh god Spence, yes, faster please,” Aaron begged by the time Spencer buried himself in his husband. Their lovemaking was fast and frantic. They both were starved for the attention of the other, and when they came they shouted each other’s name and held each other close.

Spencer felt Aaron’s tears, “Hey, are you okay?” He quietly asked.

“I thought I lost you,” Aaron held Spencer closer to him.

“Never,” Spencer held on tight.


	75. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack begins to forgive Aaron.

Jack had been tentative around Aaron. At night he wanted Spencer to read to him because he was still scared of what his father would do.

Spencer let it go on for a couple of weeks knowing how Jack was feeling. But he decided to finally confront Jack to let his father back in.

“Jack, buddy can I talk to you?” Spencer put the book aside.

“What Papa?” Jack thought he knew and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk about it.

“Jack, are you still mad at your Dad? I understand if you are and it’s okay but you need to tell him. You need to tell him why you’re mad.” Spencer said to Jack holding the boy close.

“I don’t want him to be upset with me.” Jack whispered under his breath.

Aaron had been standing outside Jacks room and his heart broke and he let silent tears fall. He had so much to make-up to his son from the last few months he didn’t know where to start.

“Well, if he is then we deal with it, together. Okay Jack-Jack.” Spencer left the room and saw Aaron in the hallway. “Give him time Aaron, go talk to your son.” He pulled Aaron in for a hug and wiped the tears.

Aaron sat down next to Jack, “Hey buddy, I know your mad at me and all I can say is I’m sorry. I know,” Aaron frowned as more tears slipped out, “I know I scared you. I never want to hurt you.”

Jack threw his arms around his dad and cried. He’d been holding back, “Don’t leave me daddy,” Jack held on tighter.

“Never Jack, I will never leave you.” Aaron held his son close.

“Even superheroes have bad days,” Jack whispered in Aaron’s ear.


	76. Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has a heart-to-heart with Sarah Jane

Spencer had been on a custodial. It was the first time since Aaron’s ordeal with alcohol that he left the family alone. When he came back it was late and everyone seemed asleep so it was a surprise when he saw Aaron sitting on their bed with Sarah Jane on his lap with her head on his chest.

“Papa, Daddy said you were sick,” Sarah said softly.

Aaron closed his eyes a moment before he answered, “I was sweetheart, but I’m getting through it.” He held her closer.

“We’re you sick like my real Daddy?” The fear in her voice was evident and Aaron cursed himself that he had put it there.

“No, not quite like you’re real Daddy sweetie. I have a problem, but I’m working through it.” He laid his head on the nine year olds head, “I promise you that I will never hurt you, your brother or your Daddy. I love you baby.”

“I love you too Papa.” She took a deep breath, “I was scared when you yelled at Jack. It was like when my Daddy yelled at us.” She held on tighter..

“I am so sorry Sarah Jane. I never want to scare you. I should never have yelled at Jack. Jack, you and your Daddy are way too important to me.” He laid his head back on the headboard as feelings of guilt washed over him.

“Its okay. Daddy says you can make a mistake once and you should say you’re sorry. I know you won’t ever hurt us.” She turned in Aaron’s lap and hugged him tight by the neck. He wrapped his arms around her holding onto the little girl. 

She released her hold and ran into her room. Aaron silently cried thinking of the family he almost lost.


	77. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron notices that the team isn't drinking any alcohol during the latest team dinner.

The team noticed but didn’t say anything. They noticed that Aaron didn’t order his usual scotch and soda or glass of wine at dinner. An unspoken rule was formed with the other members of the team. No alcohol at dinner. No one consciously said anything but they were all in silent agreement. They would do anything for their friend and Unit Chief, even going so far as to forgoing a small simple pleasure.

Aaron had noticed, but he didn’t say anything at first. He knew they were there to support him but he didn’t want to be the cause of them not enjoying something as simple as a glass of wine. When there was a lull in the conversation he cleared his throat.

“Look,” He took a deep breath, “I appreciate the support, but please don’t feel pressured to not enjoy yourselves-“

“Hotch, stop,” Morgan looked pointedly at his friend, “It’s our decision so let us do this.”

“Morgan’s right Aaron. We’re your friends so suck it up and take it.” Dave teased.

Aaron graced them with one of his rare shy smiles, his emotions getting the better of him.

Spencer reached down under the table and grabbed one of Aaron’s hands and held it, giving him support.

“Aaron, you’ve been there for each of us at one time or another. Let us be there for you,” JJ took a sip of her ice tea and smiled.

“Well, I myself shouldn’t even be drinking so it’s not a problem for me,” Kate smiled at the stares from the team.

“Kate, something you need to tell us?” Aaron furrowed his brow.

Her smiled widened as she put a hand on her stomach, “I’m pregnant,” She announces.

Aaron settled amid the congratulations knowing the depth of care they had for one another.


	78. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and his family curled up on the couch together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some super fluffy for all you guys. You all deserve it sticking with me during this last story arc.
> 
> Sorry about the late update, life stuff got in the way.

Aaron was lying down on the couch with Spencer stretched across him his arms around his husband holding on tight. Jack was curled up at their legs and Sarah Jane squeezed in on the side of Aaron. It should have been uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. It was comforting and wonderful. 

Aaron had a renewed sense of hope and love. His struggle had taken a lot out of his family and he would always carry around that guilt, but it was less with them surrounding him. He would always be grateful for Spencer’s understanding. Everyday his hope grew that he wasn’t on the verge of losing them anymore. 

He reached his left hand up and carded it through Spencer’s hair, his right he wrapped around Sarah Jane. He shut his eyes and let his emotions flow over him. He kissed the top of Spencer’s head and watched his husband stir and once again held the younger man tightly to him.

Aaron closed his eyes and relaxed back into the couch, “I love you,” Slipped from his lips and he didn’t feel the smile that that graced Spencer’s lips.

“I love you too,” Spencer said sleepily.

Aaron smiles wide, “Go back to sleep, didn’t mean to wake you.” He whispered in Spencer’s ear.

“Aren’t you uncomfortable?” Spencer lifted his head to look into the contented face of his husband.

“Nope,” Aaron smiled again and just pulled Spencer tighter to him. “There is no place I’d rather be.” 

Spencer kissed Aaron lightly on the lips moaning at the simple pleasure. He laid his head back down and fell back into a gentle sleep. Aaron’s hope had never flared brighter at that simple gesture from Spencer. His mind content and happier than it had been for months as he slipped into an easy sleep.


	79. Mr. Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Minor spoilers for episode airing 4/22****
> 
> Aaron deals with the aftermath of his encounter with a dangerous unsub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I broke my one word rule, but it was appropriate for this particular chapter.

Aaron tried to recount to Rossi just what happened, but even as he was telling his story it still sounded false to him. He wasn’t exactly sure what happened and it had shaken his confidence.

The drive home was silent and Spencer let him have his quiet. He knew whatever was going through his husband’s head wasn’t good, but he’d wait him out.

Once they got home and settled in bed, Spencer pulled Aaron to him, “Talk to me Aaron. What happened back there?” He asked quietly.

“He got in my head Spence,” Aaron closed his eyes and tried to calm the storm of emotions that were coursing through him, “He made me see,” He held Spencer close to him as he started to cry, “He made me see you getting shot in the head. Oh god Spence I almost shot you when you came through that door.” Guilt came crashing down on Aaron at what could have happened.

Spencer shut his eyes tight against the storm of emotions he was feeling for his husband. Aaron didn’t need this after his recent struggle with alcohol. 

“But you didn’t Aaron. I’m right here, I’m right here,” He pulled Aaron tighter to him kissing him softly, “Feel me Aaron, feel me and know I’m not going anywhere.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself Spence. I wouldn’t have come back from that.” Aaron breaks down in Spencer’s arms. The want, no need for a drink was coursing through him and the only thing he knew to do was hold on to Spencer, his anchor. 

He finally fell asleep wrapped up in the arms of his husband, and when the nightmares came Spencer was there again holding him tight and anchoring him to reality.


	80. Unforgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy Brooks is still there at the house when Spencer comes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not updating. I had life stuff get in the way, then writer's block set in. I know this one is one episode out of order, but I watched them out of order and just couldn't let it go without using it. 
> 
> Prompt from the episode "A Place at the Table."

Roy Brooks has never forgiven Aaron for what happened to his daughter. He’s also never forgiven him for moving on. So when Spencer walked in the door and saw Roy sitting at the dining room table Spencer stiffened and waited for the customary accusations the man always threw at him.

“Hm, so the replacement decided to come home?” Roy shot a glaring look at Aaron.

“Dad,” Jessica said sharply at her father.

“It’s okay Jessica, I’ll just be in the den.” Spencer started to move off when he heard Roy address him.

“Not even going to say a decent hello?” The man said sharply.

“Why should I when you’ve never said a decent word to me?” Spencer wanted to say so much more but he held back for Jessica’s sake.

“Hm, I shouldn’t expect any less.” Roy said under his breath, but just loud enough for Spencer to hear.

“Aaron, I think I will take Sarah out for a few minutes. Call me when you’re done.” He spun on his heels, gathered up his daughter and left before he said anything else.

“You don’t have to take your anger with me out on Spencer. He’s been nothing but patient, especially after the way you’ve treated Sarah.” Aaron was glaring at his ex-father-in-law.

“You had no right to move on.” Roy glared back at Aaron. “You had no right to replace Haley.” 

“I have every right to move on and Spencer is not a replacement. He is his own person and he deserves respect. Jack loves him and so do I.” Aaron dared Roy to say anymore.

“My daughter is dead because of you. You don’t deserve to move on or to be happy.” 

“I’m sorry this upsets you, but I do deserve every bit of happiness Spencer brings me.”


	81. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron let himself feel his fears for his own children after rescuing Meg Callahan.

Aaron came home after Kate left her letter with him. He didn’t blame her and if he had to admit it he was frightened for her. They almost didn’t get to Meg in time and that fear had gripped him. When he got home and he saw Spencer in bed cuddled up with Sarah Jane and Jack he knew his husband had been gripped with that same fear. 

He walked into the bedroom and quickly changed into sweats and sat up in bed. He pulled Sarah Jane into his lap.

“Papa,” She said sleepily.

“Hey baby,” He pulled her close and held her to him tightly. After a couple of minutes Jack cuddled between his two fathers.

“Are you okay Papa?” Sarah wrapped her arms around Aaron’s waist and laid her head on his chest. 

“No baby I’m not okay,” He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. All the fears that he ever had for his children came rushing back to him.

“Why? Was it why Daddy was crying?” She wiggled her body close to Aaron’s feeling warm and protected.

“Yes. Something very bad almost happened tonight and it made me think about you and Jack and how sad I would be if anything happened to you.” His arms came around her and held her tight.

“But Papa, Jack says you’re a superhero and you always get the bad people.” Sarah stifled a yawn as she was falling asleep against her father.

“Honey, I’m not a superhero, I’m just a man.” Tears wanted to leak out of his eyes at the what could have been.

“Aaron, turn it off. Jack and Sasha are safe,” He bent over Jack and kissed his husband letting him know everything was okay.


	82. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron, Spencer and the children enjoy a cool fall day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating this in a while. Life, work, plot bunnies, aliens, Men-in-Black, dinosaurs, and so many more things got in the way. Hope you enjoy.

The sky was clear but the air was cold. No matter how long Spencer had been in DC he still had not gotten used to the fall and winter chill. He had a coat wrapped around him and the purple scarf wrapped around his neck and he still felt the cold. But today he didn’t care. Today he was with those he loved sipping coffee at a little café. Aaron was across from him smiling sipping his own coffee.

“Spence, what put that look on your face,” Aaron reached across and took his husbands hand.

“I’m just happy Aaron.” He smiled wide as he grabbed Aaron’s hand, “I’m happy we are here, together whole.” 

“Spence-“ Aaron was going to say more when he was cut off.

“No, it’s okay Aaron. We had a tough year but we did it together.” He looked out at the skating rink watching Jack teach Sarah how to skate. “Look at them, they’re everything Aaron.” His smile broadened as he watched how patient Jack was.

“They are,” Aaron’s face lit up watching the two children. “Spencer,” He waited till he had his husband’s attention, “I love you.” He smiled broadly as Spencer smiled back.

“I love you too.” He moved around the table so they were sitting close together.

“Let’s have a big Thanksgiving. Let’s have everyone over, I feel like celebrating.” Spencer eyes were glowing with the idea.

“Whatever you want,” Aaron smiled again as he leaned in and kissed his husband. “Thank you Spencer, for everything.” He sighed and contentment settled in his heart.

“You are worth it Aaron Michael Reid-Hotchner.” Spencer said as he laid a gentle hand on his husband’s cheek and his heart over-flowed with happiness.


	83. Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate's niece is missing and Spencer and Aaron fear for their own children.

The moment they found out Kate’s niece was missing dread settled in Aaron’s heart. When they figured out it was in retaliation for Kate’s investigation into the online human trafficking Aaron’s heart stopped in fear. He also had not stopped the investigation and he feared for his children.

Spencer saw him going through the Unit Chief motions but he could see the fear behind his eyes as well. 

“Aaron, what’s wrong?” Spencer put a hand on his husbands arm and made him look at him.

“Spence,” His voice was low as he didn’t want to scare the rest of the team, “I didn’t stop looking into this either.” 

“Aaron, do you think Jack and Sarah Jane are in trouble?” Spencer looked at him as dread filled his own heart.

“I just sent Anderson and Michaels to Jessica’s house, just in case.” Aaron tried to reassure Spencer.

They went about the case, Kate needed them now, especially with how far along she was. They didn’t want the stress to cause anything bad to happen to her baby.

When they finally found Meg, it was almost too late. How close they came to losing her had gutted everyone on the team. Aaron and Spencer arrived at Jessica’s wrecked and she could see it in their faces. They had their go bags in their hands and she knew they weren’t going anywhere.

Jessica offered them her bed, and she took Jack’s. Later when they were curled around their children in the large bed and knowing they were safe did they let their emotions out. A huge weight lifted off their hearts and the dread they had been living with for more than fifteen hours was slowly ebbing away.


	84. Sir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer says something in the heat of a fight that has an unexpected effect on his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by Eloquent Dossier's Sweet Revenge.

He’s not sure when or how it happened but he and Spencer had a minor argument in the conference room while going over victimology and working the geographic profile together. 

“Reid, back off now,” Aaron was upset that Spencer was being pushy. Neither of them knew how the fight started and Spencer was pushing all of Aaron’s buttons. They both knew it and Aaron wasn’t going to let it continue but everything changed when Spencer said two little words.

“Yes Sir,” Reid snarked back at Aaron. He was startled by the sudden surge of lust that shown in his husbands eyes.

Aaron narrowed his eyes at Spencer and slowly, almost predatorily stalked over to the younger man, “What did you say?” His voice was a mixture of anger, excitement and lust, definitely lust.

“I, I, I, said yes sir,” Reid’s breathing was shallow as he also felt a mixture of fear, excitement and lust, oh most definitely lust. That look in Aaron’s eyes went straight to his groin. The two men stared at each other for a moment before Aaron walked over and locked the door then quickly stalked back to his husband.

He grabbed Spencer by the hair and pulled him in for a very passionate kiss. His arm snaked around the younger man’s waist as he pulled him into a rough and utterly obscene hug as he thrust hard against Spencer. 

“Aaron,” Spencer barely got out before his mouth was ravished again and those strong, rough hands were in his hair once more.

“When we get back to the hotel, you,” Aaron whispered in Spencer’s ear, “Are,” he darted his tongue out and licked the outer shell making Spencer shiver, “Mine.” He nipped the sensitive flesh.

“Always,” He panted out, “Sir”.


	85. Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One time when Aaron appreciated buying longer neckties.

Aaron was ravishing Spencer’s mouth in hot open mouthed kisses. His tongue darted inside and when Spencer tried for a little dominance Aaron growled back at him. He then let his husband lead.

“Say it again Spencer,” Aaron commanded in his ear.

“Sir,” He panted breathlessly while his jaw and neck were being giving nips and bites all along the way.

Aaron pulled off and Spencer whimpered at the loss of contact, but the downright feral look Aaron was giving him stopped him short. The older man went to the closet and pulled out their neckties. Aaron stalked back to the bed and roughly grabbed Spencer’s wrists and tied each one to the openwork headboard. Spencer’s breath was short as he let his body be manipulated by his lover. Trust and love shone in his eyes.

Aaron was back and his legs were being shoved up towards his chest as two more ties were tied around each of his legs keeping them bent. Aaron’s cock filled quickly at the sight before him.

“Say it again,” In that same commanding tone.

“Sir, please,” Spencer begged, he was aching to have his husband inside him and before he knew what was happening he got his wish. Aaron was rough and he knew there would be bruises but with the pleasure coursing through him Spencer didn’t care. Pushing his legs even farther up Aaron slammed into his husband hard. He knew Spencer was close and all it took was for him to grab the base of his cock and shake. The orgasm slammed through them both at the same time.

“Sir, thank you sir,” He whimpered as Aaron slowly untied him.

“Always for you,” Aaron pulled his husband close after cleaning them both up, “Mine.” He sighed as held his love in his arms.


	86. Sentinels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer spent way too much time reading fanfiction and watching an old favorite one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I've been too steeped in the Rough Trade Challenge when this chapter happens.

Spencer fell asleep watching one of his favorite cult shows after reading a few fanfiction stories. It was one he had to pirate because it still wasn’t available on DVD anywhere. He was drifting off listening to Blair explain to Jim about spirit animals.

“Spencer,” Aaron walked up to him and engulfed him in his arms. The tiger came out and weaved its way around their legs as they held each other close, “Guide,” Aaron breathed in his ear as his tongue slowly circled around the shell.

Spencer arched into his lover, his head thrown back, “My Sentinel,” Slipped from his lips. When Aaron’s lips finally found his and they kissed with passionate, almost obscene open mouthed kisses Spencer didn’t think it could get any better. An owl came to perch on the head of the tiger and the two animals sat down near the couple.

Aaron laid his Guide out on the bed after having divested him of his clothes. He slowly and carefully mapped out his Guides body onto his senses, gutting himself on every aspect of the beautiful genius.

Spencer let his empathy flow from him and latch onto his lover, the bond was immediate. A flash of light and heat moved between them, then settled as Sentinel took his Guide into himself and Guide took his Sentinel. They each knew this was permanent, they would always be a part of each other no matter what. After the intense bonding, they lay cradled in each other’s arms.

“Spence,” Aaron gently shook his husband awake, “Spence, let’s go to bed.”

Spencer was only partially awake as Aaron helped him into their room.

“My Sentinel,” Spencer said softly as he burrowed his head against Aaron’s shoulder.

Aaron shook his head, “No more fanfiction for you before bed.”


	87. Ships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer talks Aaron into watching Sherlock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For alixcharmed. Sorry it took so long to get to your prompt sweets, but here is my take on it.

Spencer finally got Aaron to sit down and watch Sherlock with him. It wasn’t that Aaron didn’t want to watch the show, it was just that there were times that Moriarty reminded him a little too much of Foyet and Breitkopf. However, for Spencer he would give the show a go. About halfway through season one he found himself hooked. He was watching intently when Spencer shouted gleefully.

“I so ship them,” His eyes sparkled as he watched the interaction of John and Sherlock.

Aaron furrowed his brow and quirked up his lips as he turned to his husband, “What?” His amused confusion was clearly written on his face.

“John and Sherlock, I so ship them together, I mean just watching their interactions you can clearly see that the two men care for each other much deeper than they let on. The way they lean in together, the sarcastic playful attitude on Sherlock’s part. Definitely unrequited love,” Spencer kept watching with a small smile on his face.

“You know you just profiled fictional characters, right?” Aaron couldn’t help to keep the teasing tone out of his voice.

Spencer blushed deeply as he looked at Aaron, “Can’t help it. They remind me a little of us.”

“Oh? And I suppose you are Sherlock in this relationship?” Aaron kept up the teasing.

“Of course, and you my handsome husband are John Watson,” Spencer smiled wide as he turned and attacked Aaron pushing him onto the couch, kissing him deeply, “Shy, quiet, better at computers than he lets one, smarter than he lets on and would do anything in the world to protect me.” Spencer swallowed hard as his   
expression turned serious.

“Spence,” Aaron held Spencer close, “I love you.” 

“I love you too Aaron.” The TV show now all but forgotten.


	88. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is sick for the fourth time and Aaron is worried

Aaron got the phone call while he was knee deep in reports, “Mr. Reid-Hotchner, this is Ms. Stiles, I’m the nurse at your son Jack’s school. I’m afraid Jack has been throwing up and he’s running a fever. We’re going to have to ask you to come and pick him up.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in half an hour,” He didn’t even hesitate as he grabbed a stack of files and shoved them into his briefcase. Running down the stairs he stopped at Spencer’s desk, “Jack’s school just called, he’s been throwing up and running a fever. They want me to come get him. I’ll get him settled then come back to pick you up later.” He wanted to kiss his husband but they had promised discretion when at work.

Spencer wrapped a hand around Aaron’s wrist, “Aaron, this is the fourth time,” He looked deeply concerned.

“I know. I’m going to go take care of him,” Aaron frowned as he started to walk away. Spencer pulled him back.

“I’ll have Dave bring me home, you take care of Jack,” He leaned in and kissed Aaron’s cheek.

“Okay,” Aaron reluctantly let go of his husbands hand and ran out of the office and to his car as quickly as he could.

After picking Jack up then getting home he put his son to bed. Checking his temperature once again Aaron got a reading of 102. Picking him up Aaron grabbed his keys then called Jessica to have her watch Sarah Jane. He rushed out the door and to the emergency room. After about forty minutes Spencer was running in with Dave right behind.

“What’s going on Aaron?” 

“I don’t know, they are running tests,” The fear in Aaron’s eyes had Spencer wrapping his arms around his husband holding him close.


	89. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Reid are waiting to hear what the Doctor's have to say.

“Mr. Reid-Hotchner?” Aaron and Spencer immediately stood and walked to the doctor that had come into the waiting room.

“I’m Doctor Stevens, I would like to ask you some quick questions if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course, anything,” Aaron was fighting the urge to shake the doctor to just give him some answers.

“Mr. Reid-Hotchner, has your son had strep recently?”

Aaron frowned wondering why the doctor would ask that, “Um, yes, why? Is that important?”

“It could be. We are waiting for the blood tests to come back. Another question, has Jack complained of any other symptoms?”

“Yes, he’s had a really bad headache for the last eight days,” Spencer told the doctor.

“Spencer, why didn’t you tell me?” Aaron looked over at his husband.

“Jack didn’t want you to worry Aaron. He asked me not to tell you right away,” Spencer grabbed Aaron’s hand and interlaced their finger’s together.

“Mr. and Mr. Reid-Hotchner, depending on the results of a blood test, there is a possibility that we may have to do a spinal tap. Of course the two of you can be in the room the whole time.”

“Dr. Stevens, what aren’t you telling us?” Spencer frowned and narrowed his eyes as he watched the doctor.

“Look, I don’t want to say too much yet and I don’t want to worry you unnecessarily. Let me get the initial blood test back then we can go from there, okay?” The doctor tried to reassure the very worried parents. “I should have some more information soon, but I can take you to your son now if you’d like.”

“Yes, of course.” They entered a small room with a sleeping Jack and Aaron collapsed in a chair holding his son’s hand tightly sending up a prayer that he’ll be okay.


	90. Testing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Stevens talks about further testing for Jack.

It seemed like the testing was taking forever. Aaron and Spencer were given leave from the Bureau so they could be with Jack. The blood tests had come back inconclusive. But they got a lucky break in that Jack’s fever broke and the antibiotics were helping. He was still sleeping a lot and that more than anything was what was worrying the Doctor.

Aaron and Spencer were on either side of the bed watching the boy sleep when Doctor Stevens entered the room and asked to speak with them privately. They reluctantly followed him back to his office.

“Mr.’s Reid-Hotchner, what I believe your son has is Viral Meningitis. His treatment at this point has been tailored for the disease and he is showing signs of progress. But, with your permission I’d like to go ahead with the spinal tap. I know it’s an aggressive test but it will also give us an indisputable diagnosis.”

Aaron took a deep breath and thought about it for a few long moments. He had read all of the materials the hospital provided on the procedure and Spencer had gone over it with him as well. He knew the risks but his son was suffering and if it gave them what they needed then he would agree to the test.

“And we can be there?”

“Of course we encourage the parents to be there. You’ll have to wear scrubs and gloves on your hands but it’ll keep him calm. I know this is invasive and I wouldn’t even suggest it if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“Then do it.” Aaron felt his hand being squeezed by Spencer’s and he closed his eyes hoping the test gave them some answers. He hated the idea of putting Jack through this and nothing were to come of it.  



	91. Diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer get Jack's diagnosis.

Aaron and Spencer were once again situated in Doctor Steven’s office. He had the test results of the spinal tap which he had rushed through given the serious nature of Jack’s condition.

“Mr’s Hotchner, I do have the results of the test and they confirmed my suspicion. Jack has Viral Meningitis. I’ve adjusted his medication and hopefully we will see results soon.”

“What does this mean for him Doctor?”

“Well, he’s lucky that this is the viral form of Meningitis. It’s easier to treat though it will be a long recovery time for him. If it had been bacterial, we may be having a different conversation but I don’t want you to worry about that. Right now we all just need to focus on his recovery at this point.”

Spencer could tell that Aaron was at his emotional limit when he squeezed his shaking hand. He knew exactly where Aaron’s thoughts went. After they talked with the Doctor about Jack’s recovery plan the two men were standing just outside of Jack’s room. Spencer took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Aaron.

“Call him.”

Aaron didn’t need to know who Spencer was talking about but he didn’t want to bother Seeley at the moment.

“This isn’t up for debate Aaron. Your hands are shaking and you are sweating. I know the signs well, trust me. Call him.”

Aaron wanted to refuse, to glare at his husband and stand his ground but he knew he was on the verge and though Spencer could help him through it his own sponsor was the better of the two. He had a son and would understand.

“Booth,” Seeley answered when Aaron finally made the phone call.

“Seeley, can we talk?” Aaron asked as he stood there shaking wanting a drink.


	92. Seeley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron talks through his craving with his sponsor.

Aaron met Seeley at a small diner next to the hospital. He didn’t want to leave at first but he knew he needed to talk to someone other than Spencer. He loved his husband but he was just as emotionally compromised and Aaron had a feeling Spencer was making a very similar phone call while he was gone.

“Hotch. I’m glad you called. What’s going on?’

Aaron sat back in the booth and took a long drink of his coffee. He couldn’t quite keep the shaking under control. He knew Seeley noticed but appreciated the fact he didn’t point it out.

“It’s Jack.” He took a deep breath then told Booth what was going on.

“God, Aaron I’m so sorry.” Booth thought of Parker and Christine and knew he would feel just as emotionally on edge as Aaron was.

Aaron swallowed hard hating his weakness. “I haven’t had a drink but…” He frowns as he looks down at the table.

“You want one. In this situation it’s more than understandable. Hotch, you’ve doing good, don’t blow it now. Why don’t we take a walk?” Booth stood and threw some money on the counter as he started towards the door with Aaron following.

For about an hour they took a walk talking. Booth telling Aaron all the new things happening with Christine and his own regrets over the things he missed with Parker.

Aaron felt himself settling. Just talking about their children helped a great deal. He didn’t feel that overwhelming need and he knew he could get through this day.

“Hotch, if you need anything just call anytime and I’ll answer. You aren’t alone in this, don’t forget that.”

“Thank you Seeley. For everything.” He shook the man’s hand as they parted ways outside the hospital.


	93. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer bring Jack home.

 

Jack started to recover much faster after the diagnosis. After two weeks Aaron and Spencer were finally able to take him home.

“I’m tired Dad.” Aaron heard the frustration in his son’s voice and felt for him.

“I know buddy. But remember what Doctor Steven’s said? It’s going to be a while before you’re back to being able to do more. Spencer and I have a couple more weeks off work so we can be home with you.”

“You don’t have to Dad. I’m fine with Aunt Jess.”

“I know buddy but Spencer and I will be able to do our jobs a lot better if we know you are going to be okay.”

“Daddy?” Aaron sat next to Jack on his bed holding him close.

“Yeah buddy?”

“I was scared.” Jack bit his lip as he leaned against Aaron hugging his father close like he used to do when he was younger.

“I know Jack. Can I tell you something?”

Jack looked up with wide eyes, “What?”

“I was scared too. So was your Papa. We didn’t know what to do. But, you’re better and we’ll be here for you. I love you Jack.”

“I love you too Dad.” Jack snuggled down in bed and fell asleep. Aaron moved into his room and collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes. Soon he felt the bed dip and felt Spencer wrapping around him.

“He’s going to be fine,” Aaron said more confidently than he felt in weeks.

“Of course he is. He’s a Hotchner.” Spencer kissed Aaron as they comforted each other.

Later that night they checked on Jack. Sarah Jane had curled herself around her brother and was holding him close.

“Thank you for being okay Jackers.” Aaron heard her whisper and he couldn’t agree with her more.


	94. Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer re-connect

Jessica agreed to take Jack to his Doctor’s appointment. She actually insisted on it. She wanted to give Aaron and Spencer a break because she noticed how exhausted and how frayed their nerves were.

“Need you,” Aaron whispered as he had Spencer backed against the wall kissing him hard, biting his neck, gripping his hips tight.

“You have me, Sir.” Spencer practically moaned at what Aaron was doing to him. They both needed this, needed it rough and hard.

Aaron growled low in his throat as he commanded Spencer to get on his knees and suck his now very hard erection.

Spencer eagerly complied.

“Fuck,” Aaron practically yelled as the warm, wet mouth wrapped around him and all thoughts of the last tense weeks flew right out of his head. When he felt himself too close he tapped Spencer on the shoulder. “Bed, now.”

Spencer slowly stood, then kissed Aaron before sprawling almost obscenely on the bed.

“God Spencer. So beautiful.” Aaron slowly crawled on top of him and took his mouth in sensual almost bruising kisses. It didn’t take long to prepare his husband then he was slipping into that glorious heat that he never tired of. He thought he had wanted rough and hard but when Spencer wrapped arms and legs around him, holding him, trapping him the need to take it slow, to make love overwhelmed him. It was long, slow strokes, sensual kisses, soft words of love and praises. He thought to undo Spencer with his lovemaking, but it was him that was breaking apart above his lover, husband and best friend. He felt raw and exposed. He was laid bare as tears leaked from his eyes as he came buried deep in Spencer. He was held tight as he allowed himself to break apart.


	95. Strength

Aaron and Spencer were both amazed every day at just how strong their son was. He was quickly getting better with the regimen that the Doctor prescribed for him. By the time they both had to be back to work Jack was almost ready to go back to school.

Aaron was in his office when Rossi came in and handed him an envelope.

“What’s this?”

“It’s something that I think you and your family need.”

Aaron opened it and saw open ended plane tickets to Italy.

“Dave I can’t take these.”

“Yes you can and I will not take no for an answer. When you can, take the time to reconnect with your family Aaron. After everything you’ve been through lately, you need it.”

Aaron took a deep breath as he set the envelope aside trying to find the words to say to Dave to express just what it means to him that he cares so deeply for them.

“Thank you Dave.” He sat back and put his pen down a moment. “You know I always knew my son was strong but I took it for granted. These last weeks showed me just how strong he is. Do you know he hardly flinched at all when they did the spinal tap? He grabbed my hand and held on to it tightly but he didn’t cry once.”

“He learned from you.” Dave smiled as Aaron shook his head. “Aaron he’s strong because you’ve shown him how to be strong. When you are home, you give him everything he needs.”

“Sometimes I don’t feel that strong.” Aaron hadn’t wanted to admit that, it just slipped out.

“Everything you’ve gone through and come back from? He sees that Aaron and you are his hero. Always believe that.”


	96. Hearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jack's ordeal with meningitis

When Aaron and Jack left the Audiologists office they went to the local ice cream shop. Jack was quiet and Aaron knew he needed to reassure his son that everything was going to be okay.

After ordering they sat down and Aaron just watched Jack for a moment before he spoke.

“Jack, are you okay?”

“Dad, what if the other kids make fun of me?” Jack looked down in his ice cream and was just moving it around with his spoon not eating.

“Jack, I won’t lie there maybe those that tease you but remember what the Doctor showed us? The hearing aids will be small and clear. Unless they were standing next you they most likely won’t notice. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone Jack. If you want to keep this to yourself, you can.” Aaron knew how hard it was going to be for Jack at first to adjust to the hearing loss. The illness had left him with thirty percent loss in one ear and twenty in the other. The Doctor explained that it was better to have the hearing aids fitted now and there was always the possibility of improvement if Jack did everything he was told.

“Dad?”

“Yeah buddy?”

Jack frowned and his shoulders slumped a little, “Will Papa still love me?”

“Jack, there is nothing that would make your Papa not love you. He will always love you not matter what happens. Just like I will always love you.”

“Can I still play Soccer?”

Aaron smiled as he took out the catalog given to him by the Doctor. He showed Jack the sport band made especially for hearing impaired athletes.

“Jack, nothing is going to change. You just have to do things differently.”

“Okay Dad.”

“Okay.” Aaron wondered at Jacks endless resilience.


	97. Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah is unsettled by Jack's changes.

 

“Sarah, where did you hide my hearing aids?” Jack yelled as he left his room in search of them.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sarah said defiantly.

“SJ I need them, you know that.”

She scowled at her brother as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t like them.” She stomped her foot for emphasis.

“Well they aren’t yours and if they get lost Dad and Papa will get mad at me and not you. Now give them back.” Jack stood with his hand out waiting for her to comply.

“No.” She ran into her room and slammed the door.

“DAD,” Jack yelled losing patience with Sarah Jane.

Aaron came up the stairs to see what was going on. “Jack, what’s wrong?”

“Sarah has my hearing aids and won’t give them back.”

Aaron knew Sarah was having a hard time with the changes in Jack.

Knocking on her door he called out, “Sarah, open the door and talk to me sweetheart.”

A moment later the door opened and Aaron went inside and sat down on Sarah’s bed.

“Why did you take them?” Aaron asked her gently thinking he knew what was wrong.

“I just want Jack like he was.”

“Honey, he’s just changed a little and you are going to have to learn to live with this.”

“But I don’t want things to change.” Sarah cried as she buried her face in Aaron’s side.

“I know honey but don’t you think it’s more difficult for Jack? He has a lot more adjusting than we do.”

Sarah reluctantly stood and fished the hearing aids out of her nightstand.

“I’m sorry Jackers,” she whispered softly as she handed him the aids.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Jack hugged her tight letting her know he still loved her.


	98. Cases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer contemplates the course of his life

Aaron was leaning back on the couch reading with Spencer was stretched out on top of him. He was reading through a proof that his friend Charlie Epps had sent him to look over. It was a Ph.D. student and Charlie wanted fresh eyes on it to make sure the math and the conclusion were correct. This prompted Spencer to look back on his years as a college student and the course his life had taken. He put the proof down and turned his head up to look up at Aaron.

“Do you think it’s all worth it Aaron?”

Aaron saved his place in his book and set it aside. “What do you mean Pen?”

“What we do, what we see almost every day.”

“I’d like to think it is. I know we ultimately save lives. I look at us and our family and know that it’s a little bit safer place for them.”

Spencer snuggled back into Aaron and contemplated the cases they had worked over the years and came to the conclusion that Aaron might be right.

“Where’s this coming from Spencer?” Aaron knew that several years earlier Spencer had a crises moment where he felt he no longer belonged in the BAU. That he should accept one of the offers that still came his way. But he didn’t, he stayed and Aaron sometimes wondered why.

“This proof that Charlie sent me. This kid is only sixteen and well on his way to his own Ph.D.” Spencer sighed as he grabbed one of Aaron’s hands.

“Spencer, do you want a change? Do you need to do something different?”

Spencer thought about it for a while as he looked through the proof. He smiled to himself, “No. I’m exactly where I want to be.”


	99. Entropy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron goes to find Spencer after his secret is reveald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING** Slight spoiler for the episode Entropy.

Aaron sat down on the swing next to Spencer and didn’t say anything, he would let Spencer take the lead.

“If you’re upset I didn’t say anything I’m sorry but I didn’t want you to know.”

Aaron took a deep breath as he looked over at his husband, “Why?”

“Why? You have to ask me that Aaron? With what you and Jessica are going through with Roy did you really think I would burden you with this?” Spencer turned his face to the side not wanting to see his husband’s face.

“Spencer your mother has never been a burden.”

“I’m not talking about my mother.” He said softly as he stood and walked away.

Aaron got up and walked to Spencer. He engulfed his husband in his arms, carding his fingers through Spencer’s hair he felt it the silent sobs coming from the younger man.

“Spencer, there is not guarantee that the same thing will happen to you. I’m not going to leave you Spencer and you will never be a burden.”

Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron and wanted to be angry that he knew about his mother but he couldn’t bring himself to be. He felt comforted and loved.

“I’m scared Aaron. I’m scared of losing my mind, losing what makes me so much of who I am.”

“I know love, I know but you should also know you have people who love you and will always be there for you.”

Spencer pulled away and wiped his eyes holding onto the warmth and comfort that had wrapped around him as much as Aaron’s arms had.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I know. It’s okay Spencer.” Aaron leaned in and kissed Spencer softly. “I’m always here for you love.”

“I know. Thank you Aaron.”

 


	100. Italy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer take that trip gifted to them by Rossi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are, the end of the line. I want to thank everyone who kudoed, commented and bookmarked this story. Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope that this experiment made me a better writer. It certainly made me think very hard on how to tell their story in only three hundred words per chapter. I hope you all like this last chapter.
> 
> And who knows, maybe an episode here and there will inspire me to add, but for now this story is complete.
> 
> ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Aaron and Spencer stood on the edge of the Amalfi coast watching the gentle waves. They had just enjoyed a light early evening meal and decided to take a walk. Hand in hand they took in the beauty around them and let go of many of the fears and worries that had built up over the year.

“We had a difficult year, didn’t we Aaron?”

“We did, but I’d like to think we got through it together.”

Spencer turned into Aaron’s arms, the light early evening breeze blowing in his hair he pulled his husband to him and kissed him slowly, almost obscenely. “I love you.”

“I love you to Spencer.” Aaron smiled one of his rare dimple showing smile as he brushed his hand across Spencer’s cheek.

“You think the kids are making Jessica crazy?” Spencer laid his head on Aaron’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“They were pretty tired before we left the hotel. I think you wore them out taking them on the walking tour of the town. Though Jack was thrilled with all of the history you learned just for him.”

Spencer couldn’t help smiling because he was always amazed by how much Jack liked for him to talk and talk about history. Sarah Jane was just happy to be with her brother and father.

Aaron and Spencer made their way back to their hotel, entered their bedroom and locked the door.

“I want you Spencer, god I always want you.” Aaron said as he buried his hands in his husband’s hair and ravished his mouth before slowly undressing him.

“You have me Aaron, now and always.” Aaron spread him out on the bed and proceeded to make the genius fall completely apart.

“Always and forever Spencer.”

“Always and forever Aaron.”


End file.
